《正義聯盟》遭全網差評！這電影到底難看在哪？

The most entertaining scene in Justice League has absolutely no bearing on the rest of the plot: Wonder Woman detonates the bomb of some random terrorists by hurling it into the sky. Then, she methodically deflects every single bullet from a machine gun using her cuffs. It's rousing and fun in a way the rest of the movie absolutely is not.
在電影《正義聯盟》裏面最有意思的場景莫過於：神奇女俠引爆了幾個恐怖分子身上的炸彈，並把他們用力拋向空中。然後，用自己的手鐲讓機關槍裏射出的子彈都偏離方向。這一幕太激動人心了，而電影其他的情節卻不是這樣。

Wonder Woman's release over the summer left me hankering for more from Diana Prince and her Amazon sisters. Hell, I even bought a branded "Daughters of Themyscira" jacket to show just how jazzed I was.
《神奇女俠》的上映讓我瘋狂迷戀戴安娜·普林斯和她的亞馬遜姐妹。我甚至還買了一件牌子是“天堂島的女兒們”（Daughters of Themyscira）的夾克來顯示我是多麼的興奮。

But Patty Jenkins' movie seems to exist in a magical universe divorced from the aggressively bro-y and lethargic franchise known as the DC Extended Universe, so I went into Justice League with my expectations in check. Turns out, I was right to do so.
派蒂·傑金斯像是存在於一個魔幻的世界和野心勃勃的兄弟類型還有讓人昏昏欲睡的DC電影宇宙出品的電影完全不同。於是我帶着這樣的觀點去看了電影《正義聯盟》，結果證明我是正確的。

Is the movie as offensively terrible as, say, Suicide Squad? No. Nothing could ever be. Honestly, Justice League's main problem is that it's boring, and fails to convince me why I should care that "the fish man" is finally fighting alongside "the fast kid" and "the rich jerk in a bat costume" beyond the fact that they are all famous cultural properties. 是不是電影無比糟糕就像自殺小隊(Suicide Squad)？
不不，那倒不至於。老實說《正義聯盟》最大的問題在於很無聊，“海王”最後和“閃電俠”、“蝙蝠俠”一起並肩作戰，除了他們是有名的人物，他們在一起有什麼糾葛其實我一點都不關心。

It's dramatically inert, peppered with lame quips that attempt to stand in for a genuine sense of humor.
整個片子看起來很無趣，幾處蹩腳的笑點毫無幽默感。

Justice League—directed by Man of Steel and Batman v Superman's Zack Snyder with an assit from Joss Whedon —is largely driven by endless exposition which dully lays out why/how the heroes are going to defeat the latest bad guy.
《正義聯盟》的導演就是之前導演《超人：鋼鐵之軀》《蝙蝠俠大戰超人：正義黎明》電影的扎克·施奈德，這次還有喬斯·惠登的幫助。這次電影的主題依然是毫無新意地沿用英雄們是如何一起打敗出現的大壞蛋的老梗。

The dude in question is Steppenwolf, and his thing is basically just that he's super evil. Ask me to explain anything else about him and I wouldn't be able to based on the screenplay alone. Like, uhhhhh, he also has these para-demon creatures that follow him around looking like the Wizard of Oz monkeys gone terribly wrong? He needs to collect three boxes to achieve power? He's constructed via some painfully obvious CGI work?
最大的問題就是荒原狼（Steppenwolf）這個角色，他就是個超級大反派。你要是讓我說除了熒幕以外對他還了解點什麼，我一無所知。他的形象完全可以在補充下，比如說他的爪牙是不是就像《綠野仙蹤》中會飛的猴子誤入歧途？或者他是不是需要集齊三個寶箱來獲得某種超能力？或者他的誕生是因爲三維動畫製作中發生的一個重大失誤？

Bruce Wayne (a grumbly Ben Affleck) and eventually Diana (the wonderful Gal Gadot) are clued into the threat and must recruit the hard-drinking Aquaman, the skittish Flash, and the brooding Cyborg. It takes some time—AKA an endless amount of time, AKA a little under two hours—but they eventually unite.
布魯斯·韋恩（愛抱怨的本·阿弗萊克）最後和戴安娜（女神蓋爾·加朵）發現了危險，然後必須要加入酗酒的“海王”，不淡定的閃電俠，還有話不多的鋼骨來應對。這花點時間來團結這麼多人，幾乎用了所有電影的時間，也也就是兩個小時不到一點，最後他們終於團結在一起了。

And, hey, Superman's there too! How he survived that Batman v Superman death scene would constitute a spoiler, but never-fear, he's back, as is Henry Cavill's chest hair!
還有，超人也回來了，他是怎麼從《蝙蝠俠大戰超人：正義黎明》逃生的，讓大家猜測不已，但是沒有什麼好怕的了，他已經回來了，還有亨利·卡維爾（超人）的胸毛也回來了。

And if you're distracted by how strange the actor's face looks, that's because the production had to edit out a mustache he had grown before reshoots using some technical wizardry. That sloppy edit is basically a metaphor for this movie.
如果你覺得演員的臉看起來覺得有點奇怪，那是因爲在重拍之前用科技手段給他們人爲加了下鬍子，這個草率敷衍的舉動正好是這部電影最好的寫照。

So, what about Wonder Woman—does she manage to save Justice League from itself? The film is seemingly aware that Diana's the emotional lynchpin of the group, but doesn't know what to do with that. It can't figure out whether the other members should treat her as a maternal figure or a sex object, so it ends up doing both.
作爲神奇女俠，她的角色設定是用來拯救《正義聯盟》的麼？整個電影看起來戴安娜纔是整個團隊的核心，真心不知道這樣做是何意？我也不知道其他成員是把她當成女性角色還只是性感尤物，結果是兩者兼而有之。

But for all of that, it's hard to read Justice League as an insidious movie. It's just sort of a dumb one—marred by a dysfunctional cinematic universe, and actors who are in the midst of publicity crises. Skip it, or see it for Wonder Woman's scenes and sleep through the rest.
總之很難把《正義聯盟》定義爲陰謀片，它看起來有點無趣——也許是整體電影環境的失衡所致，而演員會陷入宣傳危機。所以要麼不看，要麼就看只有神奇女俠出現的片段，放其他情節的時候就睡上一會兒。