親朋好友有難時你最好的幫助方式

When someone close to you has something terrible or sad happen to them, it's tough to know exactly what to do or say.
當你親近的人遇到一些可怕或悲傷的事，你是否很惆悵不知道該做或說什麼。

The keys are to be specific, don't dismiss or gloss over what's happening, and always keep an open ear. Here's what we mean.
關鍵是要提供具體建議，不要忽視或掩蓋發生的事情，並始終保持聆聽。可如何做到這幾點呢？

Marie Forleo lays out specific tips for when someone close to you gets serious health news, has a loved one die, or suffers another loss. Throughout all these sad scenarios, there are a few common do's and don'ts.
當親近的人得知自己有嚴重的健康問題，或他心愛的人去世，或遭受了一項損失，瑪麗·福萊奧給出了上述這些問題的具體提示。在所有這些悲傷的情況下，有常見的幾點是該做和不該做的。

offer specific help.
1.請提供具體的幫助。

While telling someone to "let them know if there's anything you can do" is generous, helping them and offering help in specific ways makes them more likely to take you up on your offer.
雖然告訴某人"讓他們知道你能做什麼"很慷慨，但幫助他們，並以具體的方式提供幫助，會令他們更有可能接受你的幫助。

't dismiss or gloss over their experience.
2.不要否認或掩飾他們的經歷。

Platitudes like "He's in a better place now" or "There's a reason for everything" are easy to fall back on, but they've all been heard before, and even worse, they can be pretty insulting if you think about how you'd like to hear them if you were suffering.
講一些諸如"他現在在一個更好的地方"或"萬事皆有原因"這樣的話並沒有什麼用，這些話已經聽過了，更糟的是，這些話可能會很侮辱人，想象一下如果你是遭遇不幸的那位，你聽了會作何感想。

Instead, focus on letting them know how you feel, and that you're there with them. Try "I'm always just a phone call away" or "I wish I had the right words, but please know I care."
相反，重點是讓他們明白你的感覺，知道你就在身邊。嘗試着這樣說："隨時給我打個電話"或"我希望我沒說錯話，但請知道我很在乎你"。

And of course, if you haven't had the same experience as them, don't tell them you know how they feel because you don't.
當然，如果你沒有與他們相同的經驗，不要告訴他們你明白他們的感覺，因爲你根本不瞭解。

Of course, these won't work in every situation, but if you get nothing else from it, take these two pointers to hear the next time someone close to you is struggling or suffering and you'd like to help.
當然，這不會適合每一種情況。但如果你沒有別的辦法，下次你親近的人遇到困難或不幸，你就可以試試這兩個建議來幫助他們。