讓你的相親之路暢通無阻8個建議

1. Conversations matter more than chiseled features.
1. 與欺騙人的特徵相比，對話更重要。

Dating in Los Angeles provides a fair share of “slashers" (actor/model, musician/actor, actor/waiter), and plenty of people who are still relying on their good looks from high school to replace substantive conversations. It quickly became clear that I much preferred going out with an intelligent, clever guy than a hot one. I’ll take the brains over the body, any day.
洛杉磯的約會能提供不少的“配對項”（演員配模特、音樂家配演員、演員配招待員），還有很多人仍（在相親時）仰賴他們高中時期的好相貌，而無視意義重大的對話。很快我便明白了，比起身材好的男生，我更喜歡跟頭腦好的聰明男生約會。不管是哪一天，我都更看重對方的頭腦而非身材外貌。

2. Being a woman with a great job is polarizing.
2. 擁有一份好工作的女性正在極化。

But it weeds out the bad guys who are intimidated by your success and attracts the good ones.
不過這也排除了被你事業成功嚇呆了的不良對象，並吸引來優質男。

3. It's OK to walk away from something and not apologize for it.
3. 你並不用爲自己逃避問題而道歉。

I went out with plenty of men who seemed nervous or shy online thinking that maybe they were really great guys that I'd click with in person. But when we met, I was usually bored to tears. Feeling obliged to give them a shot anyway didn't do either of us any favors.
我同許多在網上看上去緊張或害羞的男性出去約會過，我想也許他們真的是不錯的男性。我應該親自去見見面。然而當我們碰上面，我總會無聊到眼淚都要流出來了。覺得無論如何都應該給他們一次機會這種想法，對我們雙方都沒多大幫助。

4. There’s no such thing as becoming just friends.
4. 與相親對象只做朋友，絕無可能。

After going on a date where zero romantic attraction manifested, but the guy was seemingly interesting or cool, friends often said, “Well maybe you guys can be friends!” Nope. That never happened -- and that's fine! Got plenty of friends.
赴約後，兩人之間沒有擦出任何戀愛火花，而對方看上去又屬於有趣或酷酷的類型時，朋友們便老是說：“恩，也許你們能成爲朋友！”不要。這絕不會發生。（而且也不需要！我有這麼多朋友。）

5. Talking about yourself is exhausting.
5. 談論自己很費神。

I much prefer to ask questions and listen. Explaining your own career trajectory over and over again feels more like an interview than it does a fun night out on the town.
我更喜歡問對方問題並傾聽。一次又一次地解釋你自己的職業道路更像一場面試，比不上城裏的一次歡快夜遊。

6. I got a new motto: life before love.
6. 我有了一句新格言：先享受人生再去愛。

If you aren't out there going on adventures, traveling, learning new things and reading new books, you won't have much to talk to your date about. Always choose the experience. It will make you far more interesting.
如果你沒有出門冒險、旅遊、學習新事物、讀新書，你便不會有多少話題與約會對象談論。總是選擇去體驗吧，它將讓你更有趣。

7. Reading between the lines is important.
7. 讀懂話外音很重要。

I quickly learned that lines like “I just want to meet someone I can have fun with” and “everyone takes this dating thing so seriously,” really mean “I just want to have sex.” If that's what you're looking for, then great! If not, move along.
當對方對我說“我只想見能一起愉快玩耍的人”或是“每個人對待約會都這麼嚴肅”這樣的話時，我很快就明白他們的真實意思是“我就想和你上牀。”如果這是你在尋求的，那麼太棒了！如果不是，那便轉身離開吧。

8. I have a really strong stomach.
8. 我承受力真的很強。

I'm not talking 7-minute abs. Trusting your gut is one of the greatest superpowers that human women possess. When someone wrote something slightly off-color over text, it was usually just the tip of the iceberg. Seven-minute gut checks became the theme of online dating, and learning that my intuition was usually right was one of the best assurances I’ve ever had.
我並不是在說七分鐘練出腹肌。相信直覺是人類女性所擁有的最偉大超能力之一。當某些人寫的內容稍微有點黃段子的意味時，這往往只是冰山一角。“七分鐘直覺確認”成爲了網絡約會的一大主題，而我也知道了自己的第六感總沒錯，這一點是我目前最確定的事情之一。