愛情都去哪兒了：致離開前任的你
Opposites. We learn this concept in kindergarten. The opposite of up is down, the opposite of left is right, and the opposite of forwards is backwards.
反義詞，在幼兒園裏我們就學過它。“上”的反義詞是“下”。“左”的反義詞是“右”，“前”的反義詞是“後”。
What if I asked you about love. What is the opposite of love? For most, hate is what comes to mind. Seems to make sense, the opposite of like is dislike so it’s only natural that pattern follows suit on a grander scale for love vs. hate.
如果我問你“愛”的反義詞呢。“愛”的反義詞是什麼呢。大多數人可能會想到“恨”。這似乎很有道理，既然“喜歡”的反義詞是“討厭”，人們很自然的想到，愛是更爲強烈的喜歡，它的反義詞也就是更強烈的討厭。
But not anymore, not even in the slightest.
然而並不是這樣，完全不是。
You see, to hate something means you have to devote energy to the idea. You must think about it, agonize over it, and be bothered by it. I used to question my husband on why his Ex’s insults and actions never got to him. “I don’t know,” he’d say. “They just don’t. I don’t care what she says or does. I do not give her a place of value in my head or heart.”
要知道，恨某樣東西意味着將自己的注意力投注到這個東西上。你會總想着它，爲它感到憤恨，爲它而煩惱。過去我常常問我的丈夫，爲什麼他能對前妻的侮辱乃至人身攻擊毫不介意。“我不知道”，他說，“我就是不介意。我不在乎她說什麼或者做什麼。在我的腦子裏和我的心裏，她都沒有任何位置，沒有一點重要性。”
Interesting, I thought. When people divorce, where does the love go? I used to think it transformed into hate, and for some, it does. These people live a life full of hatred and anger.
對此我感到很有意思。當人們離婚後，他們的感情去了哪裏呢？過去我常以爲，愛變成了恨，對某些人來說，的確如此。這些人的生活中充滿了仇恨和憤怒。
For the lucky ones, the love once felt for their former spouse does not transform. It simply disappears. It becomes a hazy fog drifting away until one day the sun shines so bright it vanishes, never to be seen or thought of again.
而對那些幸運的人來說，他們心中曾經有的對前任的愛並沒有變質。愛僅僅是消失了。它變成了一陣迷霧，在心中漂移，直到某天，在燦爛的陽光下迷霧消散，消失無蹤，也不會再被想起。
Observing the way exes interact has now changed my definition. The opposite of love is no longer hate. It is indifference.
丈夫對前妻的態度改變了我的看法。愛的反義詞不是恨，而是漠然。
He is indifferent to her actions and behaviors. He reserves his emotions for his friends and family, to those that matter to him and his life. He literally has turned off his ability to feel for her, and it is because of this that I think he is able to lead such a happy life. If you don’t let it bother you, you can’t feel hate. And blocking out hate is always a good thing.
對她的行事態度他並不關心。他將自己的情感留存給他的朋友，家人，留存給那些對他和他的生活重要的人。他的心已經對她關閉，不會再因爲她有任何感觸。正因爲此，他才能過上這麼幸福的生活。別讓過去幹擾你的生活，這樣你的心裏就不會有恨。將仇恨從心中掃除永遠是一件值得慶幸的事情。
