另一半不會告訴你的那些祕密

1. They Have a New Goal or Ambition That They Aren't Ready to Share Yet

1. 他們還未準備好與人分享的新目標或野心

Research indicates that there are all kinds of secrets partners keep from each other, and while some are less-than-ideal (cheating, debt, and drug use), many are completely innocuous. For example, a recent study done at Columbia University found that many people keep lofty career or personal aspirations to themselves. In this case, the secrecy isn't personal, it's just that they're not prepared to talk about it yet, probably because they're still working it out in their own mind-and that's 100 percent okay.

研究表明，情侶會對彼此保留各種各樣的祕密，雖然有些祕密不盡如人意（出軌、債務和吸毒），但很多其它祕密都是無害的。例如，哥倫比亞大學最近開展的一項研究發現：很多人都有追求崇高事業的想法或有個人目標，但他們不會把這些想法告訴他人。在這種情況下，保密並非針對個人，只是他們還沒準備好告訴他人，也許是因爲他們自己也還在思考--這是完全沒問題的。

2. They Have An "Emergency" Bank Account

2. 他們有一個"緊急"銀行賬戶

It's one thing for your S.O. or spouse to keep their student debt or sky-high credit card bills from you, but it's totally another if you're in a good financial situation and they have a little extra cash stashed away for their own personal use. "Everyone should have a 'rainy day' savings that will cover them in case of emergency," says Karolina Pasko, psychotherapist and coach. "It's untouchable and locked. No one needs to know about it." Including you.

另一半或妻子/丈夫不告訴你他們的學生債務或高額信用卡賬單是一回事，你們經濟狀況良好，而他/她存了一些額外現金供自己使用又完全是另一回事。"每個人都應該有一個備用賬戶，以備不時只需，"心理治療師兼教練卡羅莉娜·派思可說道。"這筆錢是不能動的，也不需要讓其他人知道這筆錢。"包括你。

3. What Their Ex Was Really Like

3. 他們前任的真實情況

You've probably had at least a cursory conversation about your partner's past relationships-but you might not have the whole story about each and every one of them, and it's better that way. "One of the biggest client secrets I've found is past relationship history," says Rosalind Sedacca, dating and relationship coach. "We may have regrets about how we treated a partner. These secrets are sometimes better left untold."

你們可能已經粗略地聊過另一半過去的戀情（至少聊過一次）--但你瞭解到的這些戀情並不一定全面，這樣也不錯。"我發現客戶最大的祕密之一就是過往戀愛史，"約會和戀情專家Rosalind Sedacca說道。"也許我們後悔曾那樣對自己的前任。有時候這些祕密還是不說爲好。"

If your partner learned their lesson about what they did or what they shouldn't put up with, there's no reason they should have to tell you about it. Of course, if they're still feeling the emotional impact of their cheating ex and it's causing them to act jealous or suspicious, that's a different story. And remember: still feeling hung up on past mistakes and relationships is one of the signs a person should be single.

如果你的另一半從過去的戀情中吸取教訓，知道該怎麼做或者知道什麼事不能忍，那他們根本就沒有理由告訴你這些。當然，如果他們對出軌的前任還留有感情，讓他們變得嫉妒或多疑，那就另當別論了。記住：糾結於過去的錯誤和戀情是一個人應該單身的跡象之一。