怎樣優雅地讓對方閉嘴
So you're stuck with some despicable ones and you want to break out of the moment huh ? Let me give you a hand here and bring out my list to make things easy for you. Try at your own risk.
這麼說你是被某個卑劣的傢伙纏住了，而且你想從聊天中解脫出來？我來幫幫你吧，下面列舉的方法能幫你輕鬆搞定。後果自負。Boss - Non stop ranting for God knows why.
老闆—沒完沒了地咆哮，老天知道爲什麼。Me - Sir ! Do you hear that ?
我—老闆，你聽見了嗎？
Boss - Hear what ?
老闆—聽見什麼？Me - The silence.
我—安靜。Girlfriend - How can you do this to me ! How can you forget that ? How can you not tell me ? Why, how, who, what, where ?!
女朋友—你怎麼能這麼對我？你怎麼能忘了那件事？你怎麼能不告訴我？爲什麼？怎麼回事？是誰？什麼？在哪兒？Me - A good 30 seconds kiss.
我—吻30秒。That should do.
這招應該管用。Brother - Non stop crap about all his crushes in the universe.
哥哥—說起對宇宙的迷戀就廢話連篇。Me - Fake faint.
我—假裝暈倒。Best friend - Talks about some ancient archeological discovery about a broken pot for 40 minutes.
最好的朋友—關於一個壞了的古代罐子的考古發現說了40分鐘。Me - Dude, please. My ears are bleeding.
我--大哥，求你了，我耳朵要磨出繭子了。That's respect for him.
這是對他的尊重。Relative - When are you getting married ? Why did you quit that job ? What's your salary ? What will you do next ?
親戚—你什麼結婚？爲什麼辭掉那份工作？工資多少？接下來什麼打算？Me - Oh, Sorry. Were you talking to me ?
我—哦，對不起，你是在跟我說話嗎？Professor - Blah blah. Bleh. Bleeheeeeh. Blah. And that's why you failed. Bluh bluuuh. You see…
教授—這個那個什麼什麼的，這就是你失敗的原因，等等等，等等等，你看……Me - Joins both hands. Sir, can I take a loo break ? Can't hold back anymore.
我—握住對方的雙手。老師，我能去趟洗手間嗎？憋不住了。Return after two decades.
過20年再回來。Neighbor - Talks about politics and gossips on his/her neighbour.
鄰居—跟你聊政治和他/她鄰居的八卦。Me - I can smell something burning. Is that your kitchen ?!
我—我聞到有東西糊了，是你家廚房嗎？Vanish before he/she returns.
他/她回來之前就消失。
Random stranger - Shouts at you for no apparent reason.
路人甲—莫名其妙朝你喊。Me - Act deaf and dumb. Keeps staring at his/her mouth until he/she stops.
我—裝聾作啞，盯着對方的嘴看直到他/她閉嘴。Perfect.
完美。Parents - Non stop complaining about Quora, mobile phone, laptop, late night rides, long calls and what not.
父母—沒完沒了地抱怨Quora，手機，筆記本，晚上出去，打電話時間長等等。Me - Kiss. I'm sorry. I'll not do that again.
我—給他們一個吻。對不起，我再也不那樣了。Who said I wouldn't ? Until next session, bubye.
誰說我再不那樣了？以後再說吧，拜。This is what respect looks like when you're pissed off, but there's nothing you can do about it.
這就是你生氣時還要表達尊重的樣子，但你還是什麼都不能做。
