情侶間最容易犯的錯誤大綱

First, you and your partner are so smitten that you doubt the honeymoon period will ever end, and before you know it, you find yourselves sitting in front of a couples' therapist. Where did it go wrong? The longer you stay with someone, the more assumptions you make: "Well, I'm sure they know how much I love them by now" and "They should know how I feel or what I think at this point." Though that's true to some degree, he or she is not psychic (unless they are) and communication is still very much vital to a relationship at any stage. When we stop sharing our concerns, needs, and feelings with our partners, that's when things start to fall off.

剛開始，你和另一半如膠似漆，你甚至覺得你們的蜜月期永遠不會結束，但在你意識到之前，你們倆就已經坐在夫妻治療師面前了。到底是哪裏出錯了呢？與某人待在一起的時間越久，你就越容易假設："我相信，到現在爲止，他/她肯定知道我有多愛他/她"或是"在一起這麼久了，他/她應該知道我的感受、我的想法了。"雖然在某種程度上，這麼想是對的，但他/她又不會通靈（除非他們會的話），而戀情的任何階段，溝通都至關重要。當我們不再與另一半分享我們的擔憂、需要和感受時，事情就開始變質了。

"I think the main one is that we forget that we're teammates," said relationship coach Tara Caffelle when asked what the most common mistake she sees couples make. "I'll talk to one member of a couple, and we'll come up with some brilliant discovery, and then they'll say, 'Do you think I should tell my partner about this?' and that's when I wanna smack them on the head and go, 'Well, of course you do!' "

當問及情侶間犯的最常見的錯誤時，情感教練塔拉·卡菲拉說："我想主要的原因就是我們忘記了我們是一個團隊。""我會和夫妻中的一個人交流，我們會有一些很棒的發現，然後他們就會說'你說要不要把這件事告訴另一半呢？'這時候我真想扇他們一個大嘴巴然後說，'當然要說了！'"

Your partner is called a partner for a reason.

爲什麼要稱呼他/她爲另一半？那是有原因的。

You have to remember those early days when you used to tell each other everything. Once distance starts to form between you two, it's easy for it to go unnoticed until it really becomes an issue, and it's also difficult to close once you reach a certain point.

你要記得剛開始戀愛你們無話不談的日子。一旦你們之間有了距離，在這件事真正變成問題之前，你們都會忽略它，因此一旦有了一定距離，就很難再變得親密了。

"I think somehow it becomes that we're adversaries in our minds, and we stop thinking about sharing the vulnerable pieces of ourselves or being a team and calling your person," Tara said.

"我想在我們的腦中，我們不知不覺成了敵人，不再分享我們的脆弱、不再是一個團隊、也不再煲電話粥，"塔拉說。

An example Tara used is being too afraid to tell your partner that you've gotten yourself into credit card debt. You need help but you feel guilty and don't want to be judged, so you continue to keep this secret to yourself, only making the problem worse.

塔拉舉了個例子：你很害怕告訴另一半你信用卡欠債很多。你需要幫助，但你又感到內疚，害怕被指責，所以你繼續將這個祕密藏在心中，反而加劇了問題的嚴重性。