他她話題:恭維是藝術還是欺騙?
How do you persuade someone to do something they might not feel so keen about?
你怎麼說服別人做一些他們可能興趣不大的事情？Flattery–the art of offering pleasing compliments–will often help you get what you want.
恭維——一門讚美別人，討人歡心的藝術，會讓你心想事成。Lucy Kellaway is a writer and columnist with the Financial Times. One day, she got an e-mail asking her to go to Scotland to give a speech for a charity.
作家露西•凱拉韋是《金融時報》的專欄作家。一天，她收到一封電子郵件，邀請她前往蘇格蘭爲一家慈善機構做演講。
She wanted to decline the invitation because there were good reasons to do so: Scotland is far away from London; she had never heard of the charity and barely knew the woman who wrote the message. Yet rather than say no, the columnist found herself saying yes instead.
她覺得自己有充分的理由來婉拒這個邀請：蘇格蘭離倫敦太遠；她從來沒有聽說過這家慈善機構，也幾乎不認識發郵件的那位女士。但她並沒有拒絕，相反這位專欄作家竟然一口答應了。Why?
爲什麼？Because she was flattered. The e-mail began: "We haven't met yet, but I hope we will." The woman went on to profess a huge admiration for Kellaway's columns and claimed the charity's committee would be "utterly over the moon" if she turned up.
因爲她受寵若驚。這封郵件一開頭就寫道："雖然我們未曾謀面，但我非常希望能有機會與您見面。"接下來，這位女士滔滔不絕地表達了對凱拉韋的專欄的讚賞，並表示如果她能夠出席，那麼慈善委員會絕對會"欣喜若狂"。It would be hard for anyone to turn this woman down.
任何人都很難拒絕這位女士的邀請。Writing in the Financial Times, Kellaway says that even though she didn't believe the woman was really her fan, she was softened up nevertheless.
凱拉韋在《金融時報》上寫道，即便她不相信這位女士是她的忠實讀者，但她還是被說服了。It is odd but true. According to a recent study from Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, flattery works even when the recipient knows it is insincere.
這聽上去很奇怪，但事實如此，香港科技大學的一項最新研究顯示，即便被奉承者清楚這是虛僞之舉，但它依然很奏效。The Harvard Business Review recounts an experiment researchers did to prove the effectiveness of flattery.
《哈佛商業評論》雜誌詳述了研究人員是如何通過實驗來證明恭維的有效性的。A group of students were identified as potential shoppers. They were given a flyer from a fictional clothing shop which said: "We are contacting you directly because we know that you are a fashionable and stylish person. Your dress sense is not only classy, but also chic…"
一組學生被視爲潛在消費者。他們收到由一家虛構的服裝店發來的傳單，上面寫着："我們之所以直接與您聯繫，是因爲我們深知您是一位前衛的時尚達人。你的着裝品位優雅且時髦。"They knew the compliment was impersonal, and the motive was plain–the flyer asked them to shop at the store.
他們都知道這份讚美並不客觀，而且動機也很明確——這些傳單就是讓他們去商店購物。But the "shoppers" were charmed anyway and acted on their positive feelings by choosing a coupon from the store that had flattered them.
但不管怎麼樣，這些"購物者"還是十分受用，十分樂意去獲取剛剛那家恭維他們的商家的優惠券。Flagrant flattery may sway customers, but that doesn't mean it can work in every situation.
毫不掩飾的恭維可能會使打動顧客的芳心，但這並不意味着它在任何情況下都會奏效。Should you use flattery on your boss at work to get quicker promotion? Better not, according to a research done by the University at Buffalo in the US. Their study showed that empty flattery often backfires. Successful flattery takes skill. Researchers found out that insincere flattery often produces a negative response.
工作中，你是否應該奉承老闆以獲得平步青雲的機會呢？最好不要。美國布法羅大學的一項研究顯示，虛假空洞的奉承往往適得其反。奏效的奉承需要技巧。研究者還發現虛僞的奉承往往還會產生負面反應。If a supervisor sees a subordinate's flattery as a ploy to get ahead, they will tend to rate the employee lower on job performance.
如果上司將下屬的恭維視爲其晉升伎倆，那麼他們往往會低估下屬的工作成就。But if the flatterer is skillful enough to fool the supervisor into thinking his or her praise is sincere, they will usually get positive feedback.
但如果恭維技巧十足，就連上司也信以爲真的話，那麼他們一般都會做出積極迴應。An article in The Economist agrees and argues that the ambitious should master the art of flattery.
《經濟學人》雜誌中的一篇文章對此表示贊同，並提出胸懷大志者應該掌握恭維的藝術。It quotes Jennifer Chatman, of the University of California, who conducted experiments in which she tried to find a point at which flattery became ineffective. It turned out there wasn't one.
文章援引了來自加州大學的詹妮弗•查特曼的實驗爲證。她曾進行了一項實驗，試圖找出恭維失效的臨界點。而事實證明它根本不存在。Chatman says: "People who bring positive information, who make the boss feel good about the decisions he or she has made, who build up the boss's confidence, those people are going to do better."
查特曼說："那些能夠帶來正面信息的人，能讓老闆對其個人決策感覺良好的人，能增強老闆自信心的人，會做的更好。"
