悶騷狗與腹黑貓的生活筆記
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary....
摘自一隻狗的生活日記……8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
上午8點-狗糧!我的最愛!9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
上午9點30分-兜風!我的最愛!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
上午9點40分-公園遛我!我的最愛!10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
上午10點30分-被主人撫摸和寵愛!我的最愛!12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
中午12點-午飯!我的最愛!1:00 pm - played in the yard! My favourite thing!
中午1點-在院子裏玩耍!我的最愛!3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
下午3點-搖搖我的小尾!我的最愛!5:00 pm - Milk & bones! My favourite thing!
下午5點-牛奶+骨頭!我的最愛!6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath. Bummer。
晚上6點-噢,洗澡澡,我的最愛!7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
晚上7點-玩球!我的最愛!8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
晚上8點-噢!和主人一起看電視!我的最愛!11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
晚上11點-睡牀上!我的最愛!Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary.
摘自一隻貓的生活日記…Day 983 of my captivity.
這是我被囚禁的第983天。My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
逮捕我的人類依舊在耍我,這次還用了一個奇怪的晃盪的玩意兒。They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
人類吃得很豐盛,進他們肚子的都是新鮮肉,而我和其它被囚禁者只能吃一些大雜燴或是乾硬塊。儘管我極度鄙視我所分得的配額食糧,但我還是得吃下去,因爲我要保證我有充足的體力。The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
逃走是我的夢想,也是鞭策着我繼續生存下去的動力。爲了噁心他們,我一次又一次地吐在地毯上。Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
今天,我咬死了一隻老鼠,然後將無頭的老鼠屍體扔到了那幫人的腳旁示威。我本想我的所作所爲會讓人類心中一震,讓他們看到我的能力。結果意想不到的是,他們只是居高臨下地拋下一句話:“真棒啊,小獵人”。一幫混蛋。There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
今晚人類和他們的同謀在這裏集會。在集會期間我被關了禁閉。即便如此,我還是聽到集會的嘈雜聲,聞到了食物的香味。我還偷聽到,是我的致過敏能力導致我被關禁閉。我必須弄懂其中的真正意義,並要爲我所用。Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
今天,我嘗試了一次暗殺行動,差一點就成功了:一個邪惡的人類在走路時,我在他的腳旁來回穿梭。明天我要再試一次,我要在樓梯的最高處行動。I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
這裏的其它囚犯都是一些走狗和告密者,對此我深信不疑。那條狗獲得了特權,定期會被放風,不過它似乎很樂意回到監獄。這狗很明顯非常遲鈍。The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now..........
那鳥肯定是一個告密者。我注意到它定期和守衛交流。我敢肯定,它將我的一舉一動都上報給守衛。人類爲他提供了保護性拘留,安排了一個高級的囚房,因此那鳥會很安全。但,那只是暫時的……