時尚雙語:10個貼士讓你變得更自信
There are lots of ways to improve your self-confidence over the long-term – but sometimes you need an instant boost. You can’t walk into an important work meeting, (or a class at college or a room full of strangers at a party) whilst frantically re-reading a self-help manual, or making a last-minute phone call to your life-coach. So here are ten secrets to boosting your self-confidence in just a few seconds…
1. Smile
The one-second tip for when you’re feeling nervous and unconfident is simply to smile! You don’t just smile because you are happy and confident – you can smile to make yourself feel better. The act of smiling is so strongly associated with positive feelings that it’s almost impossible to feel bad while smiling.
Smiling is much more then just a facial expression. The simple act of smiling releases feel-good endorphins, improves circulation to the face, makes you feel good about yourself in general and can definitely increase your self confidence. … you will also appear more confident to others while you’re smiling.
2. Make eye contact
As well as smiling, meet the eyes of other people in the room. Give them your smile; you’ll almost certainly get one back, and being smiled at is a great self-confidence boost. Like smiling, eye contact shows people that you’re confident. Staring at your shoes or at the table reinforces your feelings of self-doubt and shyness. This tip is particularly useful for work-related situations – make eye contact with interviewers, or with the audience for your presentation:
Eye contact helps take the fear away from the speaker by getting the audience closer to him. Stress is mainly a result of being with the unknown and uncontrollable. Eye contact gives the speaker a picture of the reality that is the audience. It also helps in getting the attention of the audience.
3. Change your inner voice
Most of us have a critical inner voice that tells us we’re stupid, not good enough, that we’re too fat, thin, loud, quiet… Being able to change that inner voice is key to feeling self-confident on the inside, which will help you project your confidence to the world. Make your inner voice a supportive friend who knows you fully but also recognizes your talents and gifts, and wants you to make the best of yourself.
You still want to be able to hear the message, so don’t make it so chilled and laid back that you never take any notice of it. You can even choose 2, 3 or as many voices as you want for different occasions. Your voice should always support you, always be helpful, never aggressive and it never puts you down.
4. Forget other people’s standards
Whatever the situation that’s causing you a crisis of self-confidence, you can help yourself immeasurably by holding yourself to your own standards alone. Other people have different values from you, and however hard you try, you’ll never please everyone all of the time. Don’t worry that people will think you’re too overweight, underweight, too feckless, too boring, too frugal, too frivolous … hold yourself to your standards, not some imagined standards belonging to others. And remember that commonly-held values and standards vary from society to society: you don’t have to accept them just because the people around you do.
People’s values define what they want personally, but morals define what the society around those people want for them. Certain behaviors are considered to be desirable by a given society, while others are considered to be undesirable. For the most part, however, morals are not written in stone, or proclaimed by God above, but instead reflect local sensibilities. Different societies have different ideas about what is acceptable and not acceptable.
5. Make the most of your appearance
Even if you’ve only got a minute or two, duck into the bathroom to make sure you’re looking your best. Brushing your hair, giving your face a good wash, retouching your makeup, straightening your collar, checking you’ve not got a bit of parsley stuck between your teeth … all of these can make the difference between feeling confident in your physical appearance and feeling anxious about an imagined flaw.
Perfect your physical appearance: There’s no denying that one’s grooming plays a crucial role in building confidence. Although we know what’s on the inside is what truly counts, your physical appearance will be the first to create an impression.
6. Pray or meditate briefly
If you believe in a higher power, whether God, or another spiritual force, it can be a real boost to self-confidence to say a silent prayer. (You could also meditate instead of praying.) This helps you to take a step back from your immediate situation, to see the wider picture and to seek help from something or someone greater than yourself. This is a Christian prayer, but you could write something similar that fits your own religious beliefs or spiritual tradition:
Dear God, thank you that you love and accept me as I am … please help me to do the same … and help me to grow to become the person you want me to be so that my God-confidence and self-confidence will increase greatly—all for the glory of your name and not mine. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen.
7. Reframe
If something unexpected happens, it’s easy to let it knock your fledgling self-confidence. Perhaps you spill your drink on someone, you arrive late for the big meeting because of traffic problems, or someone who you wanted to speak to gives you a cold brush-off. Try to “reframe” the situation; put it in the best possible light: often, events are only negative because of the meaning we attach to them.
8. Find the next step
Keep your self-confidence up by taking gradual steps forwards, rather than freezing when faced with what seems like a giant leap. If you’re not sure what to do, look for one simple step that you can take to make progress. That might mean making eye contact at a party, introducing yourself to a stranger, breaking the ice in a meeting, or asking a question of your interviewers that shows your knowledge of their industry and company.
Start taking action even if you don’t have a clear idea of what needs to be done. Start moving towards your goal. Make corrections later.
9. Speak slowly
An easy tip for both seeming and being more self-confidence is to speak slowly. If you gabble, you’ll end up feeling worse as you know you’re being unclear to your audience or to the person you’re in a conversation with. Speaking slowly gives you the chance to think about what you’re going to say next. If you’re giving a talk or presentation, pause at the end of phrases and sentences to help your audience take in what you’ve said.
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn’t want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to.
10. Contribute something
Have you ever sat through an entire class at college or meeting at work without saying a word? Have you had an evening out where friends chatted happily while you sat and stared silently at your drink? Chances are, you weren’t feeling very self-confident at the time – and you probably felt even worse afterwards. Whatever the situation you’re in, make an effort to contribute. Even if you don’t think you have much to say, your thoughts and perspective are valuable to those around you.
By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
在長時間內提升自信的方法自然是數不勝數--但是，有時候我們卻需要在短時間內來激發自己的自信。當然，任誰都不能夠在焦急匆忙地重讀一本自助手冊，或者給你的人生教練通完電話之後就能夠馬上信心十足地投入重要工作會議，或開始大學課程或者參加一個滿是素不相識之人的聚會。所以，下面就爲大家介紹在數秒鐘之內激發自信的10個祕訣......
祕訣之一：微笑
在你感到焦慮不安、缺乏信心之時，首當其衝的建議--非常簡單--就是微笑！我們不只在心中充滿喜悅和自信滿滿的時候纔可以微笑--我們也可以用微笑來讓自己放鬆。微笑這一行爲與正向積極的情感如此緊密地聯繫在一起，所以微笑讓人沮喪的機率微乎其微。
微笑絕不僅僅只是普通的面部表情。微笑，這一稀鬆平常的面部表情，可以釋放使人感到輕鬆的快感荷爾蒙，可以增強面部血液循環，可以讓人整體感覺愉快，當然也就能夠真切的提升自信......所以，當你微笑的時候，在別人眼裏你就會更加自信。
祕訣之二：保持目光接觸
像保持微笑一樣，也要保持與室內每個人都有目光接觸。要先對他人微笑，這樣至少會有一人迴應你的微笑，這樣的迴應就會大大激發你的自信。微笑與目光接觸都同樣表明你非常自信。相反，一味地盯着自己的鞋子或桌腳則會讓你顯得更加猶豫不決甚至羞於開口。這一條建議在工作場合相當實用--求職者要與面試官保持目光接觸，演講者則要與你的聽衆保持目光接觸。
保持目光接觸可以拉近聽衆與演講者之間的距離從而使其擺脫緊張及恐懼。而緊張及恐懼則往往是由於演講者面對素不相識之人或無法掌控之勢而產生的。目光的接觸則可以爲演講者提供真實的情形--那就是聽衆。同時，目光的接觸還有益於吸引觀衆注意力。
祕訣之三：改變內心靡靡之聲
大多數人的內心都有這樣的聲音，那個聲音告訴我們：我們愚蠢至極、優秀不足、體態肥胖、身材矮小、聲如大鐘、膽小內向......改變自己的內心之聲才能夠讓自己從內心開始自信起來，這也同樣有助於我們向衆人展示自己的自信。要學會控制自己的內心之聲，使其成爲完全瞭解自己並能夠認識到自己優點及長處的良師益友，促使自己達到最佳狀態。
你應該還能夠聽到這樣的聲音，但不要使其過於冷淡或壓制，而對此置若罔聞。你甚至可以選擇適用於不同場合的第2、第3甚至更多的內心聲音。但是這些聲音都必須樂觀積極、於你有益，而非過度自信，也不能使你灰心喪氣。
祕訣之四：拋開他人價值認定標準
不管是什麼情況所導致的自信危機，我們都可以進行最大限度的自我調節，使自己堅持自我價值認定標準。人與人的價值認定觀是不同的，不管我們怎麼努力，都不可能永久取悅身邊每個人。對於他人的想法--諸如別人會認爲我們過於肥胖、瘦弱無力、沉悶無聊、過分簡樸、口氣輕率等等......--根本不必在意。堅持自我價值認定標準，而不是臆想之中他人價值認定標準。且務必謹記大衆價值認定標準會隨着社會的改變而改變：我們完全沒有必要因爲自身周圍公衆所作所爲而被迫接受其價值認定標準。
人們的價值觀決定其自身價值需求，而道德水準則決定人類所構成之社會團體所需。而某些行爲是特定社會團體所接受的，而有些行爲則不被接受。然而，從很大程度上來說，道德不是銘刻於金石之上，也不是拜上帝所賜，而是當地行爲感情的反映。不同的社會團體對所接納之物也持不同觀點。
祕訣之五：注重儀表
哪怕只有一兩分鐘的時間，也要衝進盥洗室裏進行梳妝，以確保自己儀表最佳。梳梳頭、洗洗臉、補補妝、拉拉衣領，檢查一下是否有香芹殘存在自己的牙縫中......這些簡單動作都將消除我們對臆想缺陷的憂慮，而使自己在衣着容貌上看起來更加自信。
優化儀態儀表：毫無疑問，衣着打扮在建立自信的過程中起着決定性作用。儘管人人都知道內在美是至關重要的，但是也無可否認外在衣着打扮是第一印象的決定因素。
祕訣之六：默默祈禱、沉思
如果你相信神靈：或者上帝，或者其他精神力量--那麼默默祈禱神靈就可以成爲提升自信的有效手段。（默默祈禱的同時也要沉思。）這將使我們即刻退出所處情形，眼觀六路並向遠遠高於我們自身的神靈尋求幫助。下面是一個基督教徒的默默祈禱，我們可以參考並寫出於之類似但適合我們自己宗教信念或神靈的禱告：
萬能的上帝，感謝你的愛，感謝你的包容......請賜我你的力量......請賜我勇氣讓我成爲你所期望之人，讓我對你的崇拜及我個人之自信大大提升--一切榮耀均屬於萬能的上帝。感謝上帝的聆聽，感謝上帝給我答案。阿門。
祕訣之七：換個角度看問題
始料不及發生之事往往很容易就將初步建立的自信擊得粉碎。你可能不小心將飲料灑在別人身上，可能由於交通堵塞而導致重要會議遲到，或者你想要與之交談的人卻冷淡地拒絕了你等等。試着“換個角度”看問題；往最佳方向考慮：通常，事物之所以具有負面意義完全是由於我們把自己的主觀思想強加於此。
祕訣之八：步步爲營
步步爲營來增強自信要遠勝于飛躍時期的停滯不前。如果所處情況讓你無所適從，不妨從簡單做起--可能是聚會上與別人一個簡單的眼神接觸、把自己介紹給一個陌生人、打破會議僵局，或者是問面試官一個能夠顯示你瞭解他們行業及公司問題。
在茫然無措之時就開始有所行動，開始朝着自己的目標前進，即使有錯，以後更正也不晚。
祕訣之九：放慢語速
讓人看起來比較自信或更加自信的一個簡單祕訣就是放慢語速。如果總是喋喋不休說個不停，那麼你的聽衆或你與之交談之人就會覺得你的講話思路混亂、晦澀難懂。相反，如果放慢語速，你就有機會思考接下來要說的內容。如果你正在作報告或演說，那麼就請在短語或句子結束之後稍事停頓，讓聽衆有時間對你所講的內容進行消化理解。
權威人士及威儀之人往往語速比較慢。這說明他們很自信。一個覺得自己所講淡而無味之人往往說話猶如放機關槍一般，因爲他不想讓人們對淡而無味的講話浪費時間。
祕訣之十：積極主動開口
你是否曾經在大學課堂或者工作會議上乾坐着一言不發？你是否曾經在朋友晚上聚會興高采烈的時刻而獨自盯着自己的飲料發呆？肯定有，那時那地，你感覺到非常不自信--甚至事後會感覺更糟。從現在開始，不管處於哪種場合，試着主動一些吧。即使你覺得自己無話可說，但是說出來，你的觀點與看法將使你周圍的人獲益匪淺呢。
如果每次小組討論之時至少有一次能夠大聲表達自己的觀點，那麼你就會成爲一個好的公衆演說家，你的自信也會因此而增加，同時也會被你的同儕尊爲團隊領導。
