中西方請客吃飯大PK

A friend asks me “Why Chinese don't go Dutch?” So I want to regard this question as the topic and write an article. As everyone knows, Occidental will go Dutch while having a meal in the restaurant. But Chinese don't go Dutch. Chinese will pay the bill and check out generously. Occidental don't often entertain guests; but Chinese often invite friend to dinner. A lot of Occidentals feel puzzled to this question。
　　一個朋友問我：“爲什麼中國人不是各付各的錢？”所以我要寫一篇文章把這個問題作爲關注的焦點。

正像每個人都知道的那樣，西方人在飯店吃飯往往都是AA制，而中國人卻慷慨地把別人的也一起給付了。西方人不常款待客人，而中國人卻經常邀請朋友吃飯。許多西方人對此感到困惑不解。

Why exists such a difference? Because of the East and West culture and custom are different on the surface. I will analyze this question concretely。

爲什麼存在這樣的差別呢？表面上的原因是由於東西方文化的差異。我將具體分析其中道理。

First of all, food systems between China and Occident are different. Chinese put into practice Gather Dining System; Occidentals put into practice Individual Dining System. Everybody can share the delicious food of all over the table when eating Chinese food. Please note it is sharing; but Occidentals just eat the food in one's own plate, if you eat beef, he eats chicken. It is impossible that you taste the flavor of his chicken. The result of the Individual Dining System is that you can only eat the food in your plate. It is unable to share. Ha-ha! What I said is right!

首先，西方國家和中國的進餐方式不同。中國人實行的是“集體共享制”；西方人實行的是“個人分餐制”。中國人吃飯時每個人都可以共享桌上的每一種鮮美食品，請注意是“共享”；但西方人只是吃自己盤子裏的食物，假如你吃牛肉，他吃雞肉，你就不可能品嚐他的雞肉。“個人分餐制”的結果就是你只能吃自己盤子裏的，不可能共享食品。哈哈，我說的不錯吧！

So to eat Chinese food is happier than to eat Western-style food. And I want to ask you a question. Do you like the free thing? I think nobody don't like the free thing. Ok! Suppose I invite you to eat the delicious Chinese food, then I pay the bill. This is equivalent to that you have enjoyed a delicious Chinese food free. So you will be very glad. Have strengthened the relation between us in the happy atmosphere。

因此，吃中餐比吃西餐更能讓人愉悅。我想問你個問題：你喜歡免費的東西嗎？我想沒有人會說不喜歡。Ok！假如我請你吃鮮美的中國食品，並且我來付賬。這就等於是讓你免費享用了中國美食，因此你會非常開心。這種愉快的氣氛便加強了你我之間的聯繫。

Secondly, Occidentals eat for the health; Chinese eat for the friendship. Occidental advocate individualism and independence is strong. So Occidental express that respect for each other's independence through the way go Dutch. Chinese like making friends and solidarity. Chinese value the interpersonal relationships and friendship very much. There are a lot of folk adages in China, for example “Depend on parents at home, leave home and depend on the friend!”，“Handle affairs is easy if you have many friends!”， another sentence is the more violent: “Insert the knife into both sides of the rib for friend!!!”。

其次，西方人聚餐是身體的需要；中國人聚餐是爲了友誼。西方人倡導個人主義，獨立性很強。因此西方人通過各自付賬的方式來表達他們對彼此獨立性的讚賞。而中國人卻非常看中人與人之間的交流和友誼。中國有很多諺語，比如：“在家靠父母，出門靠朋友！”。“朋友多了好辦事！”，還有一句更猛的：“爲朋友兩肋插刀！！！”

Therefore, friend's position is important in Chinese's mind. The purpose that Chinese don't go Dutch is doesn't want to destroy the friendship between the friends. Dutch treatment is the stingy behavior in China, is unfavorable to the friends' solidarity and is unfavorable to keeping the harmonious interpersonal relationship。

因此，在中國人的頭腦中把朋友放在很重要的位置。中國人不採用各自付賬的方式不會損害朋友間的友誼。相反，各付己賬被認爲是小氣的行爲，這不利於朋友的團結，也不利於保持和諧的人際關係。
　　Third, it is only simple “Have a meal!” that Occidental entertain guests. It is not purpose that Chinese entertain guests, but it is the means. In Americans' idea, “Have a meal” definition is to add fuel to the body for keeping health and normal life activity. Thus resist the attack of disease. That is to say, there is no any additional value。

第三，西方人接待客人“吃飯”很簡單，不像中國人接待客人那樣帶有意圖。在美國人的心目中，“吃飯”無非就是給身體增加營養，保持身體健康和維持正常的生理活動，以抵禦疾病的侵擾。換句話說，這裏面根本沒有任何附加的價值。

In the Chinese idea, “Have a meal” not only is for maintaining the health of the body, but also is a kind of life enjoyment, even is the means to promote friendship between the friends. After enjoying the sumptuous delicious food, you are glad, I am glad too, everybody is glad. The friendship between the friends has been strengthened in this kind of atmosphere。

而在中國人的頭腦中，“吃飯”不僅僅是保持身體健康，還是一種生活的享受，甚至是增進友誼的助推劑。在享用完美味的盛宴之後，你開心，我也開心，每個人都很開心。朋友間的友誼就在這樣的氛圍中加深了。

Chinese are a nation liking treat very much. Generally speaking, one party who propose treat will pay the bill in China. But purposes are different. For example you help me to do a thing, I will invite you to dinner in order to express thankfulness to you, certainly, I will pay the bill. Suppose I am a company manager, you are another company manager. I talk about the business with you, and I will say: “Let's have a meal together!”. Certainly, I will pay the bill. My purpose is that congratulates business' success, promote the friendship between us, even the friendship and cooperation between two companies。

中國是個非常好客的國家。一般來說，在中國總是有一方來付賬。但他們的目的有所不同。比如你幫我做了一件事情，我會請你吃飯以便表達我對你的謝意，這當然是我來付賬。假如我是一個公司經理，你是另一家公司經理，我想和你討論生意上的事，我會說：“我們一起吃頓飯吧！”這當然也是我來付賬。我的目的就是祝賀生意成功，增進我們之間的友誼，增進我們兩個公司之間的合作和友誼。

In fact, Chinese are very complicated. So I say that Chinese don't go Dutch is not merely a kind of folkway and custom, but it is a means, a method, a repayment way, a way to express emotion, even is probably a kind of stratagem …

事實上，中國的人際關係很複雜。所以我說，中國人不各自付賬不僅僅是一種社會風俗和習慣，它還是一種手段，一種方式，一種報答的方式，一種表達情感的方式，甚至可能是一種計謀……