幽默風趣的英語笑話

幽默故事，能讓你在信手翻啓間開懷一笑，得到身心的徹底放鬆、心緒的怦然萌動、情感的欣然釋放。下面本站小編爲大家帶來風趣幽默的英語故事三則，歡迎大家閱讀!

風趣幽默英語故事：好消息

Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C.,]the train's engine fell silent.

在紐約至華盛頓的半路上，火車的引擎突然沒聲兒了。

"I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced.

“我有好消息和壞消息宣佈”列車長通過廣播說。

"The bad news is we lost power."My fellow passengers groaned.

“壞消息是我們失去動力了” 同車的乘客們不禁抱怨了起來。

"The good news,"he added, "is we weren't cruising at 30,000 feet."

“至於好消息”，他補充說，“是我們沒有在3萬英尺上巡航”。

風趣幽默英語故事：孩子是自己的好

Three Catholic women and an old Jewish lady were having coffee.

三個信奉天主教的婦女和一個猶太老婦人在一起喝咖啡。

The first Catholic woman tells her friends,"My son is a he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'".

第一個婦女對她的朋友們說，“我兒子是一個牧師。每當他走進房間，人們總是稱呼他神父”。

The second woman chirps, "My son is a ever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'".

第二個婦女唧唧喳喳地說：“我的兒子是一名主教。每當他走進房間時，人們都尊稱他大人”。

The third woman says, "My son is a ever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'".

第三個婦女說：“我的兒子是一名紅衣主教。每當他走進房間時，人們都恭敬地稱他閣下”。

As the old little Jewish lady sips her coffee in silence,the first three give her a subtle "Well...?"look.

這時那位身材瘦小的猶太老婦人默默地喝着她的咖啡，那三個婦女一起用微妙的眼神看着她，

So she says: "My son is 6'5; he has broad,square shoulders and is very muscular; he's terribly handsome.

意思是：“你兒子呢?” 於是她說，“我兒子身高六英尺五英寸，肩膀寬闊，肌肉發達，他長得非常英俊。

He has beautiful hair, dresses very well and always smells ever he walks into a room, women say 'Oh, my God!'

他的頭髮很漂亮，衣着講究，而且身上總是散發着一股令人心曠神怡的芳香。每當他走進房間時，女人們都會說，“哦，我的上帝呀!”

風趣幽默英語故事：他愛吃巧克力塊曲奇

An old man was laying on his death bed.

老人躺在牀上，

He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled chocolate chip cookies.

只能再活幾個小時了。突然，他聞到了巧克力塊曲奇的味道，

He loved chocolate chip cookies more than anything else in the world.

他最愛吃這種餅乾了。

With his last bit of energy, he pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, and to the stairs.

用他最後一點力氣，老人翻下牀，爬到樓梯那，下樓到了廚房。

Then down the stairs and into the kitchen. There his wife was baking chocolate chip cookies.

他老伴正在做巧克力塊曲奇。

As he reached for one, he got SMACKED across the back of his hand by the wooden spoon his wife was holding.

他拿了一塊，這時手背被他老伴用木勺打了一下，

"Leave them alone!" she said, "They're for the funeral!"

“放下，”她說，“這是葬禮上用的!”