幽默趣味英語笑話五則

幽默笑話，能讓你在信手翻啓間開懷一笑，得到身心的徹底放鬆、心緒的怦然萌動、情感的欣然釋放。下面本站小編爲大家帶來幽默趣味的英語笑話五則，歡迎大家閱讀!

　幽默趣味英語笑話：醫生住在樓下

"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”

”醫生“她衝進屋後大聲說道。"我想讓你坦率地告訴我，我到底得了什麼病。"

He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."

他從頭到腳打量了她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的相貌將會變美。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”

幽默趣味英語笑話：你精神正常嗎

During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?""Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."Noooooooo! n answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

一個參觀者在參觀一所精神病院的時候問院長，”你們是用什麼標準來決定一個人是否應該進精神病院呢?””哦……¨院長說，“是這樣，我們先給一個浴缸放滿水，然後我們給病人一個茶匙，一個茶杯和一個水桶去把浴缸裏面的水放清。“哦，我明白了¨，參觀者說，”正常人會選擇水桶，因爲水桶比茶匙和茶杯的容積大。””錯了”，院長回答道，正常人會把浴缸塞子拔掉。

幽默趣味英語笑話：誰要聾了

A man tells a doctor, ”I think my wife's going deaf. What can I do ? "

丈夫告訴醫生："我想我的妻子快要聾了，我可以做些什麼呢?"

The doctor says, "VVell, trY to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question-If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. That way we can see how bad the problem is." The man goes home, sees his wife and says, "Hi honey, what's for dinner ? " He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer. "Honey, what's for dinner ? " He repeats this severaltimes, until he's standing right next to her. Finally,she answers, "For the tenth time, I said we-re having Pot Roast!"

醫生告訴他："嗯，先嚐試測測她的聽力吧。站在離她有一段距離的地方，問一個問題，如果她沒有回答，走近一點再問一遍.一直重複直到她回答爲止。這樣我們就可以知道情況有多糟了。“丈夫回到家，看見妻子便問：¨親愛的，晚餐吃什麼?¨他沒有聽到回答，於是走近一點再問：¨親愛的，晚餐吃什麼呢?這樣重複了好幾次，直到他就站在妻子旁邊了。

終於，她回答了：¨這是第十次了，我說我們吃燉肉.

幽默趣味英語笑話：死於肝癌

Wife:you see. According to the statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

妻子：你看這張報紙，據統計，死於肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。

Husband: lt's okay. To my investigation,all these people eat meals.

丈夫：那有什麼?據我調查，死於肝癌的人100%都吃飯的。

幽默趣味英語笑話：你當真愛我嗎

One day,Eve asked Adam,"Do you really love me?

一天，夏娃問亞當：“你當真愛我嗎?”

Adam said helplessly, "Do I have any other choice?"

亞當無可奈何地回答：“我還有別的選擇嗎?