經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第16章1

At the bar, Zaphod was rapidly becoming as tired as a newt. His heads knocked together and his smiles were coming out of synch. He was miserably happy.
“Zaphod,” said Ford, “whilst you’re still capable of speech, would you care to tell me what the photon happened? Where have you been? Where have we been? Small matter, but I’d like it cleared up.”
Zaphod’s left head sobered up, leaving his right to sink further into the obscurity of drink.
“Yeah,” he said, “I’ve been around. They want me to find the man who rules the Universe, but I don’t care to meet him. I believe the man can’t cook.”
His left head watched his right head saying this and then nodded.
“True,” it said, “have another drink.”
Ford had another Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the drink which has been described as the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging – expensive and bad for the head. Whatever had happened, Ford decided, he didn’t really care too much.
“Listen Ford,” said Zaphod, “everything’s cool and froody.”
“You mean everything’s under control.”
“No,” said Zaphod, “I do not mean everything’s under control. That would not be cool and froody. If you want to know what happened let’s just say I had the whole situation in my pocket. OK?”
Ford shrugged.
Zaphod giggled into his drink. It frothed up over the side of the glass and started to eat its way into the marble bar top.
A wild-skinned sky-gypsy approached them and played electric violin at them until Zaphod gave him a lot of money and he agreed to go away again.
The gypsy approached Arthur and Trillian sitting in another part of the bar.
“I don’t know what this place is,” said Arthur, “but I think it gives me the creeps.”
“Have another drink,” said Trillian, “Enjoy yourself.”
“Which?” said Arthur, “the two are mutually exclusive.”
“Poor Arthur, you’re not really cut out for this life are you?”
“You call this life?”
“You’re beginning to sound like Marvin.”
“Marvin’s the clearest thinker I know. How do you think we make this violinist go away?”
The waiter approached.
“Your table is ready,” he said.

酒吧裏。贊福德很快就變得像蠑螈一樣疲倦。他的兩個腦袋碰到一起，兩張瞼上的笑容也變得不一致起來。他實在是高興壞了.
“贊福德，”福特說，“趁你現在還能說清楚話，你能告訴我到底發生了什麼嗎？你曾經去過哪兒？我們又曾經去過哪兒？雖然這只是件小事，我想搞清楚。”
贊福德左邊的那個腦袋清醒過來，留下右邊那個進一步沉人醉酒的朦朧中。
“是的，”他說，“我出去遛了一大罔。他們希望我去尋找那個統治宇宙的人，但是我根本不想和他碰面。那個傢伙肯定不會做飯。”
這番話是他右邊的腦袋說出來的，左邊的腦袋看着右邊的腦袋，然後點了點頭。
“沒錯。”它說，“再來一杯吧。”
福特又喝下一杯泛銀河系含漱爆破藥，這種飲料被形容爲行兇搶劫行爲的酒精等價物——昂貴，而且對腦袋有害：管他的，福特決定，他其實並不是真的很在意。
“聽着，福特，”贊福德說，“一切順利，太平無事。”
“你是說一切都在控制之中。”
“不，”贊福德說，“我的意思不是說一切都在控制之中，那樣就不酷了，如果你想奇www書17794網com知道到底發生了什麼，咱們這麼說吧，整件事都揣在我的衣兜裏。這樣說行嗎？”
福特聳丁聳肩
贊福德格格笑着回到他的酒杯前。泡沫超過了玻璃杯的邊緣，開始流到吧檯的大理石桌面上。
一個長相粗野的太空吉普賽人走到他們身旁，衝他們拉起了電於小提琴，直到贊福德給了他一大筆錢，他才滿意地離開了。
這個吉普賽人叉走到坐在吧檯另一段的阿瑟和崔莉恩面前。
“我不知道這是什麼地方，”阿瑟說，“但我覺得這兒讓人毛骨悚然。”
“再來一杯吧，”崔莉恩說，“好好享受一下：”
“這兩件事是相互排斥的，”阿瑟說，“你到底想讓我做哪一件‘”
“可憐的阿瑟，你並不是真的打算這麼悲觀地生活下去，對嗎？”
“你管這叫生活？”
“聽上去，你開始像馬文了”
“馬文是我所知道的最清醒的思想者。你覺得我們把這個小提琴手打發走如何？”
這時，侍者走了過來。
“你們的餐桌已經準備好了，”他說。