經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第12章4

He raced in a frenzy to the end of the corridor, through the entrance chamber and beyond. He arrived on the flight deck, slammed and bolted the door behind him. He leant back against the door breathing hard.
Within seconds, a hand started beating on the door.
From somewhere on the flight deck a metallic voice addressed him. “Passengers are not allowed on the flight deck. Please return to your seat, and wait for the ship to take off. Coffee and biscuits are being served. This is your autopilot speaking. Please return to your seat.”
Zaphod said nothing. He breathed hard, behind him, the hand continued to knock on the door.
“Please return to your seat,” repeated the autopilot. “Passengers are not allowed on the flight deck.”
“I’m not a passenger,” panted Zaphod.
“Please return to your seat.”
“I am not a passenger!” shouted Zaphod again.
“Please return to your seat.”
“I am not a… hello, can you hear me?”
“Please return to your seat.”
You’re the autopilot?” said Zaphod.
“Yes,” said the voice from the flight console.
“You’re in charge of this ship?”
“Yes,” said the voice again, “there has been a delay. Passengers are to be kept temporarily in suspended animation, for their comfort and convenience. Coffee and biscuits are being served every year, after which passengers are returned to suspended animation for their continued comfort and convenience. Departure will take place when the flight stores are complete. We apologize for the delay.”
Zaphod moved away from the door, on which the pounding had now ceased. He approached the flight console.
“Delay?” he cried, “Have you seen the world outside this ship? It’s a wasteland, a desert. Civilization’s been and gone, man. There are no lemon-soaked paper napkins on the way from anywhere!”
“The statistical likelihood,” continued the autopilot primly, “is that other civilizations will arise. There will one day be lemon-soaked paper napkins. Till then there will be a short delay. Please return to your seat.”
“But…”

他瘋狂地跑到了走道盡頭，穿過出入間，往上爬。他來到飛行甲板，“砰”地關上身後的艙門，上了門閂。他靠在門上，大口喘着粗氣。
幾秒鐘過後，一隻手開始在另一側敲打這扇門。
從飛行甲板上的某個地方傳來一個刺耳的聲音：“乘客不允許待在飛行甲板上。請回到您的座位上去，等待飛船起飛。我們將提供咖啡和點心，這是您的自動駕駛儀在說話。請回到您的座位上去。”
贊福德什麼也沒說。他繼續喘着粗氣；在他身後，那隻手繼續敲門。
“請回到您的座位上去，”自動駕駛儀重複道，“乘客不允許待在飛行甲板上。”
“我不是乘客。”贊福德氣喘吁吁地說。
“請回到您的座位上去！”
“我不是乘客！”贊福德又吼了一聲。
“請回到您的座位上去。”
“我不是……嗨，你能聽見我嗎？”
“請回到您的座位上去。”
“你是自動駕駛儀？”贊福德說。
“是的。”那個聲音從飛行控制檯傳來。
“這艘飛船由你操縱？”
“是的，”那個聲音說，“出現了一點兒延遲。爲了乘客們的舒適和便利，他們被暫時性地限制了恬動。我們每年都會提供咖啡和點心，在此之後，乘客們叉被重新限制恬動，這是爲了繼續他們的舒適和便利。一旦飛船完成儲備，本次航班將立即起飛。我們對這樣的延遲深感抱歉。”
贊福德從門上移開，敲擊也停止了。他靠近了飛行控制檯：
“延遲？”他叫道，“你看見飛船外面的世界了嗎？它已經變成了一片廢墟，一片不毛之地。文明已經消失了，夥計。再也沒有檸檬香味的餐巾紙輸送過來了！”
“根據統計概論，”自動駕駛儀一本正經地繼續說道，“其他文明將出現。總有一天會有檸檬香味的餐巾紙的。在那之前，將會有一段短暫的延遲。請回到您的座位上去。”
“可是……”