搞笑幽默英語笑話
從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起着重要調劑作用。下面本站小編爲大家帶來搞笑幽默英語笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
搞笑幽默英語笑話1：
A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."
一個男人告訴他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美滿的祕密，“小事都由我妻子決定，”他解釋說：“而我只管大事，我們從不互相干涉，從不生對方的氣。我們從來沒有抱怨、沒有爭吵。”
"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"
“聽起來很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作決定呢?”
"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."
“嗯，”那個人回答說：“她決定我申請什麼工作，我們住什麼房子，買什麼傢俱，去哪裏度假這些事情。”
His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"
他的朋友很驚奇的問道：“哦?那麼你決定哪些重要事情?”
"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."
“嗯，”他回答：“我決定誰來當首相，我們是否要增加對貧困國家的援助，怎麼處理原子彈等等這些問題。”
搞笑幽默英語笑話2：
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.
一個生意人走進一家酒館，在吧檯坐下，點了一杯加冰的雙料martini。喝完，那生意人往自己襯衣的口袋裏瞥了一眼，然後又讓服務員把杯子滿上。
After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
喝完，生意人又往自己襯衣的口袋裏瞥了一眼，然後又讓服務生幫他把杯子滿上。
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
這時酒館的服務生說話了，“呃，老兄，我整個晚上給你倒martini都沒有問題，但你得告訴我，你爲什麼在點下一杯酒前都要往自己襯衣的口袋裏偷偷看那麼一眼”。
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的一張照片。如果照片上的人開始變得好看起來，那就說明我喝得差不多了，該回家了。”
搞笑幽默英語笑話3：
My husband was enjoying the day off from work and watched me scurry about the house.
丈夫正在過休息日，他看着我在屋子裏來回奔忙。
I picked up his dirty clothes, put away his work shoes, carried out his popcorn bowl from the previous night's football viewing, washed the breakfast dishes, wiped the coffee he'd spilled and ironed his shirts.
我撿起他在髒衣服，將他工作時穿的鞋子放到一邊，拿走前一天晚上他看橄欖球時放在旁邊放爆米花的碗，洗早餐的盤子，擦去他濺出的咖啡，熨他的襯衣。
Seeing a thoughtful look on his lace, I wondered if he was beginning to realize just how much unnecessary work he created for me. Maybe he would offer to help. "A penny for your thoughts," I said.
看到他臉上若有所思的神情，我想他是不是開始意識到他給我添了許多不必要的麻煩，也許他還會幫幫忙呢!“給你一分錢，告訴我你在想什麼?”
"I was thinking," he replied, "that one of the things I like best about you is how you always find ways to keep yourself busy."
“我在想，”他回答道，“你總能找到辦法使自己忙個不停。這一點我很喜歡。”
以上就是本站小編爲大家帶來的搞笑幽默英語小故事，希望大家喜歡!
