英語幽默搞笑笑話合集

　　今天小編爲大家帶來的是關於英語的幽默搞笑笑話，挺有意思的，希望大家也會喜歡。下面就讓我們一起來看一下吧。

　　一、斯威夫特博士與小廝

a wealthy old lady who lived near dr. swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant. dr. swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble. one day as swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcel on the desk and said, my mistress has sent you two of her rabbits.

在斯威夫特博士家附近，有一位富有的老婦人，她時常打發僕人給他送禮物。斯威夫特博士接受她的禮物，但從不給小廝任何酬謝。一天，斯威夫特博士正忙着寫東西，小廝衝進了他的房間，把書一扒拉，將一個包裹扔在書桌上，說道：我的女主人送給你兩隻兔子。

swift turned round and said, my boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel(包裹) . now, you sit in my chair, watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson.

斯威夫特轉過身來說：孩子，包裹可不是這樣送法呀。現在，你坐在我的椅子上，看看我是怎麼送的，並要記取這個教訓。

the boy sat down. swift went out, knocked on his door and waited. the boy said, come in. the doctor entered, walked to his desk and said, if you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.

小廝坐了下來，斯威夫特走出去，敲了敲門，等待迴音。小廝說進來。博士進了門，走到桌旁說道：先生，我的女主人向您致以親切的問候，並希望您收下這些兔子，這是她兒子今天早晨在地裏打的。

the boy answered, thank you, my boy, give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.

小廝回答說：謝謝你，我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的兒子致謝，謝謝他們的關心。這兩個先令是送給你本人的。

the doctor laughed, and after that, swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.

博士笑了，打那以後，斯威夫特從沒忘記送小費給小廝。

　　二、乾淨的杯子

joe and fred were helping to build a house in a village. the weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. they found the nearest small bar, went in and sat down with their sandwiches.

喬和佛瑞德在一個村子裏幫忙蓋一間房子。天氣很暖和，到處都有許多灰塵。12點半的時候，他們覺得非常口渴，便停下來去吃午飯了。他們找到最近的一家酒吧，走進去坐下吃他們的三明治。

good afternoon, gentlemen. what can i get you? the man behind the bar asked.

下午好，先生。你們想要點什麼?櫃檯後面的伺應問道。

joe looked at fred and said, beer, i think. yes, a pint of beer each. is that all right for you, fred?

喬看了看佛瑞德說：我想，啤酒吧。好，那就每人一品脫啤酒。這樣可以嗎，佛瑞德?

yes, that's all right. fred said. then he turned to the man behind the bar and said, and i want it in a clean glass! don't forget that.

好的，可以。佛瑞德說。然後他轉過去跟櫃檯後面的侍應說：我要啤酒裝在一個乾淨的杯子裏!別忘了。

the man behind the bar filled the glasses and brought them to joe and fred. then he said. which of you asked for the clean glass?

櫃檯後面的侍應倒滿杯子後，拿給喬和佛瑞德，接着說：剛纔哪一位要乾淨的杯子的?