閨蜜的訂婚宴,我卻被踢出局

My friend Liza and I grew up together from day one-our parents were best friends before they had us. I got married really young, in 1999, when I was 18 and Liza was 19. She was my maid of honor, and two years later, when she got engaged, she asked me to be hers. It was always assumed, and I, of course, said yes.

我和麗薩是"穿一條開襠褲"長大的--在我們出生前，我們的父母就已經是最好的朋友了。我很早就結婚了（1999年），那時我18歲，麗薩19歲。她是我的伴娘，2年後，她也訂婚了，並邀我擔任她的伴娘。一直以來我們都是這麼設想的，所以我答應了。

Around the same time, I realized I'd gotten married way too young, and the relationship wasn't working. A couple of months after Liza had asked me to be her maid of honor, around the summer of 2001, I announced I was getting divorced. We had gone dress shopping but didn't have bridesmaids gowns yet.

與此同時，我意識到自己結婚結的太早了，我和丈夫的感情並不是很好。麗薩邀我擔任伴娘後沒過多久（大約是2001年的夏天），我就宣佈自己離婚了。我們一起看了婚紗禮服，但沒有買伴娘裙。

Within a couple of weeks of me telling her about the divorce, Liza called and said I was "no longer welcome in her wedding party," because I didn't believe in the sacrament of marriage. I was shocked and in disbelief. It felt like I got punched in the gut. It was like, do I even know you? She's not an especially religious person, so the fact she used a phrase like, "the sacrament of marriage," was disorienting.

我告訴麗薩我離婚了，幾周後她打電話告訴我"她不希望我參加她的婚禮，"因爲她覺得我對待婚姻的態度不神聖。我非常震驚，不敢相信她竟然這樣做。像是被人重擊一拳。我竟然自我懷疑，麗薩還是我認識的那個她嗎？她的宗教信仰並不強烈，所以她所說的'婚姻的神聖'令我迷失。

It felt like I'd lost my best friend. I mean, whether or not you want a divorce, it's always a hard process. And not only did I not have her support through this big life transition, I also got booted from her wedding. She replaced me with this party-girl friend she had temporarily. That hurt, too. It felt like I was getting replaced with someone who wasn't even important to her.

貌似我失去了最好的朋友。畢竟，不管你想不想離婚，整個過程都是非常痛苦的。發生這一重大生活轉變的時候，她沒有支持我；而且還將我踢出局，不希望我參加她的婚禮！她臨時找了一個交際花，代替我擔任伴娘。此舉着實令人心痛。就好像我被一個她並不看重的人所取代了。

I didn't attend the ceremony, which was the following year, although my family did, because Liza was really close with them.

我沒有參加第二年的婚禮，儘管因爲麗薩和我的家人關係親密，他們都去了。

A few years ago, I found out she was pregnant and reached out via e-mail. I just wanted to break the ice-like, "Hey, I heard you're pregnant, congrats!" She responded a few months later and was cordial, but we didn't really talk about her wedding. We live about 20 minutes apart and makes plans to see each other maybe once a year.

幾年前，我得知她懷孕了，所以發了封郵件給她。我想打破這層隔閡，在郵件中寫道"嘿，聽說你懷孕了，恭喜呀！"幾個月後，她很真誠的回覆了我，但我們都沒有談及那場婚禮。我們相隔20分鐘的車程，計劃每年見一次面。