時尚雙語:怎樣處理工作中的嫉妒
【中英對照】
If there's one thing Johanna Rothman knows, it's the corrosiveeffects of jealousy. At 30, the author of "Behind Closed Doors: Secrets of Great Management" was incensedwhen a coworker got a job she wanted. Later, when she took a job managing former peers, she felt their jealousy in curt, backhanded compliments.
有一件事情是Johanna Rothman非常清楚的，那就是嫉妒所產生的危害性。Johanna Rothman 是“關起門來：成功管理的祕密”一書的作者，在其30歲的時候，一個同事得到了她夢寐以求的職位，她很憤怒。稍後，當她升職，開始管理以前的同行時，她感到了他們譏諷的恭維中所包含的嫉妒。
"If you can admit you're jealous, you can start dealing with it," says Rothman. "If you don't, jealousy can poison your relationships."
Rothman說：“如果你肯承認自己是在嫉妒，那麼你就可以處理好自己的嫉妒。若你沒有及時處理好你的嫉妒情緒，它會毒害你的人際關係。”
Jealousy can also poison your career by distracting you from your job and forcing you into constant comparisons that leave you demoralized, she says.
她還說：“嫉妒也會讓你無心工作，只專注於和別人攀比，最後在自卑中一蹶不振，毀了你的職業生涯。”
Want to curbyour or others' jealousy while keeping your eye on your goals? Consider these tips:
想要在專注於自己的人生目標的同時，化解掉自己的或別人的嫉妒，參考下面的小貼士吧：
If you're jealous:
如果是自己在嫉妒：
1. Track your accomplishments
記錄你的成就
"Do a month-by-month resume" for the past year, Rothman advises. "When I did this, I saw that there was a real theme: It was all about the project and nothing about the people. It was clear I really wasn't ready to be a manager."
“將你過去的成績按月份做出一份摘要。” Rothman建議說：“當我這樣做的時候，我看到在過去的一年裏，我做的事情都是隻與項目有關，而與人沒任何關係，這份摘要清楚的告訴我，我真的還不適合當一名經理。”
2. Talk to your boss
與你的上司談談
Bring your monthly resume to your boss; show him your skills and ask why you didn't get the promotion, says Rothman. Be clear that you're doing this because you want the promotion or raise next time.
將你做的每月摘要表拿給你的上司看看，向他展示你的才能，問他爲什麼你還沒得到提升。不過你要知道，你這樣做是因爲你想獲得下次的升職機會。
"My boss had no idea how productive I'd been," she recalls. "I learned to keep updating my resume and to inform my boss of what was going on regularly. In a few months, a bigger job opened up and I got it. My boss realized I was perfect for it."
“我的上司不知道我工作多麼有效率”她回憶說：“我後來學會了持續更新我的履歷表，並讓我上司定期知道我做了些什麼事情。幾個月後，有一份很重要的工作，因爲我的上司終於認識到我纔是最適合的人選，所以我得到了這個工作機會。”
3. Develop your skills
發展你的才能
Ask the person you envy how she learned to do what she does, and beef up your skill set. Then it's not about her anymore -- it's about developing your career.
向你嫉妒的人虛心請教，問他們是如何做到這樣的成就的，然後拓展你的技能。那麼接下來的事情就和她無關了，就是你需要如何拓展自己的職業技能了。
"It turns out my new boss was the best manager I'd ever had," says Rothman. "But if I admitted, 'Look, Johanna, you're jealous,' I wouldn't have been able to work with her."
Rothman說：“結果證明我的新上司是我遇到過的最好的經理，但是如果我承認自己是在嫉妒她的話，我就不能和她一起共事。”
If you're the object of another's jealousy:
如果你被別人嫉妒：
the brag-athon for after work
不要在工作之餘炫耀
"It's often not the closer relationships with bosses, the promotions, or the raises that create hostility," explains Tina Lewis Rowe, a career coach in Denver. "It's the way the employee with good fortune handles it."
丹弗的職業教練Tina Lewis Rowe說：“通常引起同事之間敵意的不是員工與上司的親密關係，提升或者表揚，而是有大好發展前程的員工處理這些時的方法。”
Don't name-drop the CEO you had lunch with, mention the conference you're attending or talk excitedly about your new job or salary with less-fortunate coworkers. "Even a saint would have trouble smiling and being happy for someone in those circumstances," she says.
她說：“不要總是向同事炫耀你與執行總裁吃過飯，以此來自擡身價，也不要總是和沒你那麼幸運的同事提及你參加過的會議，興奮的向他訴說你的新工作或薪水，即使他是個聖人，在這種情況下他也很難笑着爲你祝賀。”
't apologize.
不要道歉
It's natural to feel humbled by a wonderful career development, but those who didn't get the raise don't want to hear how undeserving you feel, said Lewis Rowe. Chances are, they might agree.
Lewis Rowe說，
人在職業發展的輝煌時期會感到受寵若驚是很自然的事情，但是沒有得到這個發展機會的人並不想聽到你說你覺得自己擔當不起這個大任。雖然他們可能會覺得你確實不配得到這樣的機會。
-escalatetension.
緩和緊張的局勢
If you're a new manager for former peers, encourage your new staff's strengths.
如果你剛剛升職當上了經理，要管理你以前的同事，那麼你就要多表揚他們的優點。
"You need to know what to do to make all the people (in your department) stars," she says. "I was always finding the most successful people and promoting them out from underneath me. That's an accomplishment that the employee and the manager can agree they did together."
“作爲一個經理，你需要知道怎麼做才能讓你所有的手下覺得他們都是明星。”她說：“我總是發掘最成功的人才，並給他們升職，讓他們超越我。這樣做可以取得經理和職員雙贏的成就。”
