時尚雙語:死亡計劃:在去天堂之前

I recently came up with a to do list before going to heaven (or elsewhere if I am not so lucky) and that involves saying goodbye to certain people and getting rid of loose ends. No, I am not contemplating death or planning to die. You see it doesn't take planning in order to think ahead; I am just concerned about what if it were to happen and I had left things up in the air.

1. If I were to go earlier than later, I would just as well make sure that any material belongings would be divided among family and friends. It sounds vain but I could not bear thinking of leaving an apartment full of odd pieces of furniture, computers, books and artwork without them being destined for someone else. I could wonder how those items would be appreciated but should that be my concern when we all have different tastes? The best thing is to donate these material goods to the best possible recipient.
2. I could wonder too how long my spirit would linger around watching my material world dissipate after I had been stripped of any earthly attachment. I would also wonder if I would one of those confused souls unsure of where to go without a body to inhabit. How strange.

3. I would probably open up to all my friends and family, not that it ever mattered while I was alive but at least let them admire me for being honest about myself even though it was at the last moment. Then again I don't think there are any secrets to mention from someone who has been a loner for a good part of his life and liked his own company.

4. I would want to pay back any debts if there were some and apologize to anyone that I had forgotten along the way.
5. An autobiography has not occurred to me yet but it might turn out as an interesting book. Even though others might also debunk it.

6. How about a going away party. There are going away parties for people going into the service and never coming home. Wouldn't being at the end of my life be like going into some ethereal service? After all I must have been around for some reason
7. I would visit places that I hadn't seen so far. Obviously I would have to be in good enough health to at least get to the foothills of the Himalayas!

8. I would open up a death parlor, something that the dying would love to pamper themselves before taking off like a special comforter they might like to be draped in. Naturally my kin will have to be in on this since I would not be around to snicker at some purchase choices!

9. I would do some outlandish things, nothing to risk my life of course but just something that may get some people to think.
10. I would empty my bank account and spend whatever I could. There is no point in donating further funds to companies that have been deviously charging me my whole life.

最近，我想列出一個在去天堂（要是我沒那麼幸福的話或許是別的地方）之前的待辦事項，包括跟某些人道別，還有要處理好那些沒辦好的事情。不，我不是想要去死，也不是在爲死亡做計劃。要知道想提前去死也用不着做計劃。我只是考慮如果死亡真的發生而我還有事情懸而未決該怎麼辦。

如果我要提前而不是延後去天堂，那麼幸虧我確定好我所有的財產分配給我的家人和朋友了。聽起來像是徒勞無功，但我實在不忍去想像一座公寓，裏面擺放着各種新奇的傢俱、電腦、書籍還有藝術品，而所有這些東西都無人認領。我會想這些東西是多麼有幫助啊，但如果我們的喜好不同時，還與我有關嗎？最好的辦法就是把這些東西都捐給最適合的人。

我會想在我被脫去了對塵世的依附之後，注視着我的財產被分散出去，我的靈魂會徘徊多久。我也會想如果我就是那些迷失的靈魂中的一員，不知道該去哪，也找不到可以居住的軀體，多麼不可思議啊！

我可能會向我的朋友和家人們敞開心扉，並非是因爲我還活着，而是至少讓他們羨慕我對自己的誠實，儘管這是在生命的最後一刻。我不會一再地認爲，一個曾經生命的大部分時間都感到孤獨並喜歡獨處的人會說出他的任何祕密。

如果我有債務的話，我會想把它們還完，要是我無意間忘記了所欠的債，我還會道歉。

我還沒有寫我的自傳，這肯定會是一本很令人關注的書，儘管其他人或許會揭露真相。

舉辦一個送別會怎麼樣？人們經常會爲那些去服役後就再沒有回家的人舉辦送別會。在我生命的最後一刻不就像是去天堂服役嗎？畢竟我曾經在某些方面還是做出了很多成績的。

我會去參觀目前爲止我還沒去過的地方。顯然我必須得保持足夠的健康，至少也要能登到喜馬拉雅山的山峯上。

我會開一家死之商店，那些垂死的人們在離開之前會希望盡力滿足自己，他們也許非常想披上一件特別的羊毛圍巾，或類似的東西。當然，我的同命人們會光顧這裏，因爲我決不會在他們選購時，偷偷地譏笑他們的選擇。

我會做一些古怪的事情，當然不是去拿我的性命來冒險，而僅僅是去做一些能引發人們思考的事情。

我會把我帳戶裏的錢都取出來然後盡力把它們都花光。把未來的資金捐給那些在我整個人生中一直在間接地向我索取的公司，這麼做是毫無意義的。