最新英語幽默小故事

英語幽默故事簡短，內容詼諧幽默，情節生動有趣。今天小編整理了一些英語小故事，希望對大家喜歡。

最新英語幽默小故事:吃樹根和樹葉

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

一隻熊貓走進一家參觀，要了一個三明治。吃完以後，熊貓掏出一把手槍，打中了服務員，站起來準備走。“嘿!”經理叫道，“你還想去哪?你打中了我的服務員而且你沒付錢!”

The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!"

熊貓也叫道：“誒你怎麼回事啊，我是熊貓!看清楚啊!”

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."

經理打開字典，查到了熊貓的定義：“一種住在樹上的有袋類亞洲動物，以分明的黑色和白色皮毛爲特徵。吃樹根和樹葉。”

英語幽默小故事精選：兔子與蛇

A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.

一隻瞎眼的兔子和一隻瞎眼的蛇相遇了。它們倆都知道自己是什麼動物，但不知道對方是什麼，於是它們都決定試試對方

The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.

兔子說：“你先摸摸我。”蛇同意了，它摸了一下兔子。

He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..."

蛇說：“額，你全身都有皮毛，有一個小棉球似的尾巴，耳朵很長，後腿很粗壯…”

The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake.

兔子說，“我知道!我是隻兔子!耶!”然後兔子摸了一下蛇。

He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..."

兔子說，“好吧，你長長的細細的，全身都滑溜溜的，還有一根分叉的舌頭…”

The snake says, "Oh no! I'm a lawyer."

蛇說：“不!我是個律師”

英語幽默小故事：企鵝和動物園

A man is driving down the freeway with his two pet penguins when he gets pulled over by a cop for speeding. After the cop hands over the speeding ticket to the driver, he notices the 2 penguins. The cop informs the driver that he must take the penguins to the zoo. The driver agrees to do so.

一個人帶着兩隻寵物企鵝在高速公路上開車，然後因爲超速被一個警察抄了牌子。警察將超速罰單交給他時，他注意到了這兩隻企鵝，並告訴這個人，必須把企鵝帶去動物園。這個人同意了。

Two months later, the same man is pulled over by the same cop for speeding. The cop notices the penguins again only now they are wearing sun glasses and eating ice cream.

兩個月後，這個人又被同一個警察因爲超速逮到了。警察再一次注意到了企鵝，它們還戴着太陽眼鏡，吃着冰激凌。

The cop says, "I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo."

警察說：“我是不是已經告訴你要把這些企鵝帶去動物園了。”

The man responds, "I did take them to the zoo, now I'm taking them to the beach."

這個人回答道，“我確實帶了它們去動物園呀，現在我帶它們去沙灘。”