妙趣幽默英語故事
在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放鬆自己的心情。下面是本站小編爲大家帶來妙趣幽默英語故事，希望大家喜歡!
妙趣幽默英語故事：精明的家庭主婦
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was buming.
一位精明的家庭主婦聽說有一種爐子用起來可以比她現在用的爐子省一半的煤。
She was very excited,and said: “That’"be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed."
她聽了大爲興奮，說：“太好了!一個爐子可以省一半的煤，那麼如果我買兩個爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎?”
妙趣幽默英語故事：新員工
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.
一個年輕人在被僱用幾個星期後，被叫到人事經理的辦公室。
"What is the meaning of this ? " the director asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years'experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.
“這是什麼意思?”經理問，“當你申請這份工作時，你告訴我們有五年工作經驗，現在我們發現這其實是你的第一份工作。”
"Well, " the young man said, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination. "
“嗯，”年輕人回答，“你們的廣告上說需要找一個有想象力的人嘛。
妙趣幽默英語故事：戰爭格言
1. Friendly fire - isn't.
友軍火力一點兒都不友好。(美軍術語Friendly fire是指“被自己人誤傷”)
2. Recoilless rifles - aren't.
無坐力炮的後坐力大着呢。
3. Suppressive fires - won't.
壓制火力哈也壓制不了。
4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
你不是超人，陸戰隊員和戰鬥機飛行員特別要緊記這一條。
5.A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
胸口被打個大洞，你就自然而然會停下來。【sucking是正在飆血的意思)
it's stupid but it works,jt isn't stupid.
如果一個蠢方法有用，那它就不是一個蠢方法。
7. Try to look unimportant; theenemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
裝成無關緊要的人，敵人可能子彈不多，不想浪費在你身上。
8. lf at first you don't succeed,call in an air strike,
如果你的攻擊沒成功，馬上呼叫空襲支援吧。
you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
每當你開始進攻時，炮兵也會越打越近。
10. Never shara a foxhole with anyons braver than yourself.。
水遠別跟比你勇敢的戰友呆在同一個散兵坑裏。
11. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yoursalf.
永遠別跟比你瘋狂的人一起睡覺。
12. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
永遠別忘了你手上的武器是由出價最低的承包商中標製造的。
your attack is going really well,it's an ambuSh.
如果你的攻擊進行得很順利，那一定是你中了圈套。
14. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
那支你以爲是徉動的敵兵其實是主攻部隊。
1 5. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: they're you're not.
敵人總會在以下兩種情況發生時展開攻擊：1)他們準備好的時候：2)你沒準備好的時候。
16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
任何作戰計劃在接敵之後都會變成廢紙。
17. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
完美的計劃是不存在的。
18. Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
手榴彈的五秒引信總會在三秒內燒完。
19. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
散兵坑裏不存在無神論者。
20.A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
逃跑的敵軍大概只是打算先撤退後反擊。
21. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
重要的事情總是簡單的;簡單的事情總是難以做到的。
22. The easy way is always mined.
好走的路總已被布上地雷。
23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
集體行動非常必要：起碼敵人有其他目標可以射擊了。
24. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
下要太顯眼，因爲那會吸引敵方火力。因此，航空母艦被稱作“炸彈磁鐵”就不奇怪了。
25. Never draw fire: it irritates everyone around you.
不要吸引敵人火力：這會使你身邊所有的人都恨你。
26.1f you are shortOf evervthing but the enemy,you are in the combat Zone.
如果你除了敵人什麼都缺，那你一定在交戰區了。
you have Secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
你攻佔一個地區後，確保敵人也知道。
28. Incoming fire has the right of way.
飛來的子彈有優先通行權。(不要把身體擋在子彈的去路上)
29, No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
從來沒有一支完成戰備的單位能通過檢閱。
30. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
從來沒有一支準備好檢閱的部隊能活過戰鬥。
31. lf the enemy is within range,so are you.
如果敵人進入你的射程內，別忘了你也在進入了他的射程內。
32. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
唯一比敵軍炮火還準確是友軍火力。
33. Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together.
必須要裝配在一起才能發揮效力的武器裝備不能一起運送。
34. Things that must work together,can't be carried to the field that way.
必須要裝配在一起才能發揮效力的武器不能被一起運到戰場。
35. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support
無線電總是在你急需火力支援時失靈。
36. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.
雷達總是在晚上和壞天氣時失靈，尤其是在兩者都發生的時候。
37. Anything you do can get you killed,including nothing.
你所做的任何事都可能送命，就算你什麼都不做也一樣。
38. Make it too tough for theenemy to get in,and you won't be able to get out.
當你防守嚴密到敵人攻不進來時，那往往你自己也打出不去.
ers work both ways.
曳光彈是雙刃劍。(你更容易打中敵人，敵人也更容易找到你的位置)
40. lf you take more than your fair share of objectives,you wiu get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
如果你在行動中完成了額外的任務，那麼你總會被賦予這些額外的任務。
41. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
當兩軍都覺得自己快輸時，那他們可能都是對的。
42. Professional soldiers are predlctable;the world is full of dangerous amatours.
專業士兵的行爲是可預測的：但世上卻充滿了萊鳥。
43. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
“軍事情報”一詞中的軍事和情報是矛盾的o(intelligence一詞多義，同時也指_智慧n，這個雙關語是諷刺戰場上往往缺乏有頭腦的行爲)
44. FortifY your front;youԬget your rear shot up.
腦袋和屁股從來不可兼顧。
45. Weather ain't neutral.
天氣不是中立的。(氣像狀況總是對你不利)
46.1f you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
如果你記不起來自己親手佈置的定向雷的指向，那這定向冒一定是朝向你的。
47. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down;sort 'em out on the ground.
防空座右銘：先把飛機打下來，再在地上區分敵友。
48. Flies high,it dies;low and slow,it‘ll go.
飛得高，死得快：飛得又低又慢，就能完成目標。
49. The Cavalry doesn*t always come tO the rescue.
不能把希望寄託在救兵身上。(言下之意是要靠自己，不要老想着會有人來救你。Cavalry在美軍俚語裏就是-救兵一的意思，請想像一下當你處身美國西部開拓時期在野外被一大羣印弟安人包圍的情景)
50. Napalm is an area support weapon.
凝固汽油彈一炸一大片。(別扔得太近)
