雙語暢銷書《艾倫圖靈傳》第3章:思考什麼是思考(2)

Dear Mrs Morcom,

親愛的默卡夫人：

I want to say how sorry I am about Chris. During the last year I worked with him continually and I am sure I could not have found anywhere another companion so brilliant and yet so charming and unconceited. I regarded my interest in my work, and in such things as astronomy (to which he introduced me) as something to be shared with him and I think he felt a little the same about me. Although that interest is partly gone, I know I must put as much energy if not as much interest into my work as if he were alive, because that is what he would like me to do. I feel sure that you could not possibly have had a greater loss.

我想說，關於克里斯我有多麼難過。去年我和他一起工作和學習，我想我再也找不到像他那樣聰明而迷人、又不自負的夥伴了。我很喜歡和他分享我的工作，還有他推薦我學習的東西，比如天文學。我想他對我也有同樣的感覺。雖然他已經不在了，但我知道，我要像他還活着一樣，在我的工作中，保持那個勁頭。儘管物是人非，但這應該是他希望我做的。你懂的，這是人生最悲痛的事了。

Yours sincerely, Alan Turing

真誠的艾倫?圖靈

I should be extremely grateful if you could find me sometime a little snapshot of Chris, to remind me of his example and of his efforts to make me careful and neat. I shall miss his face so, and the way he used to smile at me sideways. Fortunately I have kept all his letters.

如果你能寄一些克里斯的照片給我，我將感激不盡。他的照片可以作爲榜樣，提醒我努力，細心，整潔。我很想念他的臉，還有他在小路上對我笑的樣子。還好，我保存了他寫給我的所有的信。

Alan had awoken at dawn, at the time of the funeral:

艾倫那天清晨醒來，在葬禮上的時候：

I am so glad the stars were shining on Saturday morning, to pay their tribute as it were to Chris. Mr O'Hanlon had told me when it was to take place so that I was able to follow him with my thoughts.

我很高興的是，星期六早上，那些星星也來參加葬禮了，向克里斯致哀。奧漢蘭先生告訴我，克里斯會繼續活在我的心中。

Next day, Sunday, he wrote again, perhaps in more composed form, to his mother:

第二天，星期天，他更加沉痛地寫信給母親：

Dear Mother,

親愛的媽媽：

I wrote to Mrs Morcom as you suggested and it has given me a certain relief.…

我依你的建議給默卡夫人寫信了，這讓我產生了一種信念……

… I feel sure that I shall meet Morcom again somewhere and that there will be some work for us to do together, and as I believed there was for us to do here. Now that I am left to do it alone I must not let him down but put as much energy into it, if not as much interest, as if he were still here. If I succeed I shall be more fit to enjoy his company than I am now. I remember what G O'H said to me once 'Be not weary of well doing for in due season ye shall reap if ye faint not' and Bennett* who is very kind on these occasions 'Heaviness may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning'. Rather Plymouth brotherish perhaps. I am sorry he is leaving. It never seems to have occurred to me to try and make any other friends besides Morcom, he made everyone seem so ordinary, so that I am afraid I did not really appreciate our 'worthy' Blamey and his efforts with me for instance.…

我相信，我一定會在某個地方再次遇到默卡，在那裏，我們又可以一起工作。現在，我要暫時獨自前行，我不能讓他失望，就算物是人非，我也要保持一樣的幹勁，就像他還活着一樣。我只有獲得成功，纔能有資格享受他的陪伴。我記得奧漢蘭對我說過“付出總會有收穫”，還有善良的伯納特說“在夜裏要忍耐，因爲清晨的歡愉就要到來”。我很難過默卡離開了我，我不想再與任何人交朋友了，他讓所有人看起來都那麼平庸，我想我甚至不是真的欣賞布來梅……