超級幽默、詼諧的英語雙語笑話合集

　　今天小編爲大家整理分享的是關於英語笑話，希望大家會喜歡，下面就讓我們一起來開心一下吧。

一、世界上最偉大的擊劍手

At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage.

在一場世界最佳擊劍手錶演中，排名第三的擊劍手上場了。

A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half.

一隻蒼蠅放了出來，劍劃了一個弧，他將蒼蠅劈成了兩半。

The crowd cheered.

觀衆歡呼起來。

Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters.

緊接着排名第二的人將一隻蒼蠅切成了四半。

A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.

現場一陣沉默，人們期盼着世界上最偉大的擊劍手出場。

His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast.

他的劍鋒以一個巨大的弧線劃了下來--然而那隻昆蟲還在繼續飛行!觀衆被驚呆了。

The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely,

觀衆被驚呆了。最偉大的擊劍手完全錯過了他的目標，

yet he continued to smile.

然而他還在微笑着。

"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled.

“你爲什麼這麼高興?”有人嚷道，

"You missed!"

“你沒擊中!”

"Ah," replied the swordsman,

“啊，”劍手答道，

"you weren't watching very carefully.

“你剛纔沒有很仔細地看。

They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father.

蒼蠅還活着，是的--但他永遠也做不成爸爸了。

二、好消息和壞消息

Good News And Bad News "There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client.

“有好消息，也有壞消息，”離婚律師告訴他的當事人。

"I could sure use some good news," sighed the client.

“我總能聽到一些好消息吧，”當事人嘆了口氣說，

"What's it?"

“是什麼好消息?”

"Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement."

“你妻子沒有要求將你未來的繼承財產也劃入裁決的範圍。”

"And the bad news?"

“那麼壞消息呢?”

"After the divorce, she's marrying your father."

“離婚以後，她將與你父親結婚。”