超級幽默詼諧的英語雙語笑話合集

　　最近是不是不太開心啊?沒事，快來看看小編爲你整備的英語雙語笑話，你就會開心起來了的。接下來就讓我們一起來看一下吧。

一、

we attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.

我們參加了一個熟人的兒子的婚禮。由於我們都不認識那個年輕人和他的新娘，所以我們決定送給他們一個實用的全家禮----一個滅火器。很明顯，這對新人大批量製作了他們的感謝信，因爲我們收到了一張卡片，上面寫着：“非常感謝您的漂亮的結婚禮物，我們期待着不久就用到它。”

二、

during the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, i told him that mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. he then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.

醫生按期來探視我的老母。我告訴他母親不幾天就要慶祝她98歲的生日了。醫生聽了也很高興，爲此，他彎下腰來親了她一下。然後他說不幾天他也要慶祝自己的生日，並要求她還他一個吻。

when he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "can you imagine, " she said. "seventy dollars and i had to kiss him too!

醫生走後，我母親厭惡地搖搖頭。“你能想象嗎，”她說，“付了他70元，我還得親他!”

三、

after being away on business, tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

做完生意回來後，提姆覺得應該給妻子帶點什麼禮物回去。

“how about some perfume?”he asked the cosmetics clerk. she showed him a $50.00 bottle.

“那些香水怎麼賣啊?”他問賣化妝品的售貨員。售貨員給他展示了一支價值50美元的香水。

“that’s a bit much,”said tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

“看起來好像有點貴哦!”提姆說道。於是售貨員又拿出一款30美元的香水。

“that’s still quite a bit,”tim complained.

“還是貴了點。”提姆抱怨道。

growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

售貨員開始有點惱火了，就給提姆一瓶很小的香水，價值15美元。

“what i mean,”said tim, “is i’d like to see something really cheap.”

“我的意思是，”提姆說，“我想看看一些真正便宜的東西。”

the clerk handed him a mirror.

售貨員聽了後，遞給了提姆一面鏡子。

四、

miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. but this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. while miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.

麥爾斯有時在上班時間去理髮館理髮，但這是違反辦公室規定的：職員只能利用自己的時間理髮。一天，正當麥爾斯理髮時，經理碰巧也進來理髮，而且就坐在他旁邊。

"hello, miles," the manager said. "i see that you are having your hair cut in office time."

"你好，麥爾斯，"經理說。"我看到你在上班時間理髮了。"

"yes, sir, i am," admitted miles calmly. "you see, sir, it grows in office time."

"是的，先生。正是這樣。"麥爾斯平靜地承認了。"可先生，你看，頭髮是在上班時間長的。"

"not all of it," said the manager at once. "some of it grows in your own time."

"不全都是吧，"經理立刻說，"有一些是在你自己的時間裏長的。"

"yes, sir, that's quite true." answered miles politely, "but i'm not having it all cut off."

"對呀，先生，你說得很對。"麥爾斯禮貌地回答說，"但我並沒有把頭髮全都剪掉啊。"