經典趣味英語笑話五則

下面是本站小編整理的經典趣味英語笑話五則，希望大家喜歡!

經典英語笑話：我的牙齒好痛

The world's cheapest man finally went to thedentist to have his teeth fixed,

一個非常吝嗇的守財奴終於去牙科看牙齒。

"Well, sir," said the dentist,

“先生，”牙醫說道，

"I'm afraid you've waited too long to get these teeth attended to. They'll all have to come out.”

“恐怕你拖得太久了，這些牙齒都要拔掉才行。

"How much will that cost?" inquired the skinflint.

“那得花多少錢?，’小氣鬼問醫生。

"A thousand dollars. "

“一千塊美金。”

Here 's a hundred ,"said the tightwad ,"Just loosen them up a bit.""

“這裏是一百塊，”吝嗇鬼說。“只要稍微把它們鬆動一點就好

　經典英語笑話：聽起來還算公平

A woman was reporting',event)">reporting to her husband about the events of the day.

一位女士正滔滔不絕地向她先生訴說當天發生的事。

"Oh, and I had a big fight with the electriccompany.

“哦，另外我也和電力公司大吵了一架!”

"Really? Who won?"

“真的嗎循來誰贏了?”

"Nobody, it was a tie. They don't get any money and we don't get any electricity.

“沒有人贏，算扯平吧。他們沒拿到一毛錢，而我們也沒有電可用。”

　經典英語笑話：你能不能快一點

A man and his wife were cleaning out the attic when the husband found an ancient receipt.

一對夫婦正在清理閣樓，這時先生髮現一張過期很久的舊收據。

"Hey, Nancy, look at this. It's a receipt for a pair of shoes I left to be repaired and never picked 's eleven years old."

“嘿，南茜，你過來看看這個，這張是以前皮鞋送修的收據，我忘了去拿回來，足足有十一年之久了!”

"You know, that shoe repair shop is still there," replied the wife.

“那間鞋店不是還在那裏嗎?”妻子回答。

"Why don't you just drop in there and hand him the receipt as if it were nothing unusual. "

“爲什麼不跑一趟，把收據交給他，就當作沒事發生一樣?"

And that is what the husband did.

先生去了那家鞋店。

Quietly the cobbler went to the back of his shop and poked around a bit,

鞋匠靜靜地走到後頭，東翻西翻了一會兒之後，

came back to the counter and said "They'II be ready next Tuesday. "

回到櫃檯說道：“下星期二才能修好!”

經典英語笑話：不要被逮到了

Out in the forest preserve, a man strolled up to the fisher man and asked whether he'd had any luck.

在森林保護區內，有個人走向一位正在釣魚的老兄並問他有沒有收穫。

yesterday I caught fourteen bass in the morning and another twelve in the afternoon ,

“今天什麼也沒有，不過你應該昨天來見我纔是。昨天早上我釣了十四尾鱸魚，下午釣了十二尾呢!”

"Well, that's very interesting. Do you know who I am?"

“哦，那相當不錯嘛，你知道我是誰嗎?”

"No."

“不知道。”

"I happen to be the game warden "

“我恰巧就是監視狩獵的管理員。”

"Oh. And do you know who I am? I’m the biggest liar you ever laid eyes on "

“哦，那你又知道我是誰嗎?我是你所發現最會說謊話的人。”

　經典英語笑話：學習共同分享

Johnny divided a piece of pie into two pieces, kept the bigger piece for himself and gave thesmaller piece to his sister.

強尼把一塊派一分爲二，把大的留給自己，小的給他妹妹。

"Hey," said his sister, "if I'd divided the pie, I would have kept the smaller piece for myself. "

“嘿，如果是我來分那塊派，我會把小的留給我自己，”妹妹說

"Well, that's what you got, so what are you complaining about?"

“你不是分到小塊的嗎，還抱怨什麼呢?”