輕鬆幽默英語笑話三則

在繁忙的生活中，也要偶爾放鬆自己的心情。下面本站小編爲大家帶來輕鬆幽默英語笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　輕鬆幽默英語笑話：誰的兒子最偉大

The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'."

The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'."

"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'.

" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"

四位牧師的母親聚到一起談論她們的兒子。“我的兒子是個教士，”第一位母親自豪地說道，“他進入房間，人們都說，‘您好，閣下’。”

第二爲母親說：“我的兒子是位主教。他進入房間，人們都稱，‘您好，大人’。”

“我的兒子是位紅衣主教，”第三位母親接着說，“他走進房間，人們都說，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”

第四位母親略思片刻。“我的兒子身高六英尺十，體重三百磅，”她說，“他要是走入房間，人們都說‘哦，我的上帝’!”

　輕鬆幽默英語笑話：快速服務

A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please."

"Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said.

"When will they be ready?" the man asked.

"I'm a bit busy, but they'll be ready for you on Thursday." he said.

That's fine," the man said, and left the shop.

The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hours he was on an airplane to his new job.

Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown.

He remembered his shoes.

"They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonder if the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop ,although he was an old man by now.

"Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, I brought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?"

"Name?" the old shoemaker asked.

"Smith," the man said.

"I'll go and see. They may be out back.

The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop -and a few minutes later returned ,carrying the pair of shoes.

"Here we are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now, but they'll probably be ready on Thursday."

一個人把一雙鞋子拿到一家鞋店，並對修鞋匠說，“請幫我修這雙鞋子。”

“當然可以，先生，”鞋匠說。

“什麼時候能修好?”那個人問。

“我有點忙，但到星期四我會修好鞋子的。”他說。

“很好，”那人說，並離開了那家店。

第二天早上，他收到一封信，提供他一份在國外的工作。24小時內，他登上飛機去接受那份新工作。

二十年過去了，他回到了故鄉。

他記起了那雙鞋。

“那是一雙好鞋，”他想，“我想知道鞋匠是否還在那兒，是否還有那雙鞋。我要去看看。”

他很高興看到鞋匠還在那家店裏，雖然他已很老了。

“早上好，”他對鞋匠說，“二十年前，我拿了一雙鞋子來修。你記得還有那雙鞋嗎?”

“名字?”老鞋匠問。

“史密斯，”那人回答。

“我去瞧瞧，或許在後面呢。”

鞋匠回到店的後面去，幾分鐘後又回來了，手裏提着那雙鞋子，“在這呢，”他說，“一雙棕色的鞋子要修。我有點忙，但可以到星期四把鞋子修好。”

　輕鬆幽默英語笑話：休假

Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.

If he sneezed, he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold.

If he had a headache, he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hours.

He spent more time at home than he did at school.

On the days that he did go to school, he looked for excuses to come home early.

One morning he came home when the lessons were only half finished.

His father was surprised.

"You've come home early," he said. "Is the school closed today?"

"No, Dad, " Tommy said - "It's open. I came home early.

"How did you do that?" his father asked him. "What did you say to the teacher?"

"I told her that I had a new baby brother and that I had to come home and help you . "

"But your mother has had twins," his father said, "a boy and a girl. You've got a baby brother and a baby sister."

"Yes, I know, Dad, " Tommy said. "I'm saving up my baby sister for next week "

湯姆討厭上學，總是找藉口不去上學。

如果他打噴嚏，他就叫他媽媽寫個紙條說他感冒了。

如果他頭痛，他就叫他媽媽在上課時間帶他去看病。

他呆在家裏的時間比在學校的時間要多。

在他的確去上學的日子裏，他就找藉口早點回家。

一天早上他上了一半課就從學校回來了。

他爸爸很驚訝。

“你回來很早，”他爸爸問，“今天學校放學了嗎?”

“沒有，爸爸，”湯姆說，“還沒放學。我提前回來了。”

“你怎麼會提前回來了?”爸爸問，“你對老師說什麼了?”

“我告訴她我有了一個小弟弟，我得回家幫你。”

“但是你媽媽生了一對雙胞胎，”爸爸說，“一個男孩，一個女孩。你有一個小弟弟和一個小妹妹。”

“是的，我知道，爸爸，”湯姆說，“我要等下個星期再說我有個小妹妹了。”