經典輕鬆幽默英語笑話三則

在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放鬆自己的心情。下面是本站小編爲大家帶來經典輕鬆幽默英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

經典輕鬆幽默英語笑話：停車費

A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.

一個商人走進紐約一家銀行詢問信貸員。他說他準備出差去歐洲兩個星期需要借款5000美金。

The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank.

信貸員說銀行借款需要提供擔保品。商人馬上掏出停在銀行門前的勞斯萊斯汽車的鑰匙。

Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.

一切手續辦妥後銀行信貸員接受了汽車做爲貸款的抵押。店員把汽車開到銀行地下車庫並停放在那裏。

Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"

兩個星期後商人從歐洲回來，償還了5000元借款以及15.41元的利息。信貸員問：“非常感謝您的光顧，這筆交易做得也很完美，但是我們有一個疑問，你離開後我們查了一下發現您是一個富翁。爲什麼您會不怕麻煩來這借5000元呢?”

The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?"

商人回答：“除了您這我還能在紐約市的其他地方只需付款15元就能停車兩個星期嗎?”

　經典輕鬆幽默英語笑話：放屁的問題

A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent.

有位小老太太去看醫生：“醫生，我有愛放屁的毛病。其實也不是大問題，只是我放屁不臭而且沒聲音。

As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

事實上，我在這裏已經放了20多個屁，但是你並不知道對吧，因爲我的屁不臭，而且還沒聲音。”

The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."

醫生說：“好的，我明白了。吃這個藥片，一天三次連續吃七天，下星期你再來。”

The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."

一星期後老太太來了，“醫生，你到底給的我什麼藥，現在我放屁還是沒聲音，但是怎麼這麼臭!”

The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."

醫生說：“太好了!你的嗅覺正常了，現在開始治聽覺。”

經典輕鬆幽默英語笑話：精神病醫生

Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.

傑瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。

Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.

每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在牀下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每週來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”傑瑞答道。

Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

六個月後醫生和傑瑞在街上相遇了，“爲什麼你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。

For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎麼做到的?”“他讓我把牀腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”