輕鬆英語幽默故事三則

“哪裏有人,哪裏就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起着重要調劑作用。下面本站小編爲大家帶來輕鬆英語幽默故事，歡迎大家閱讀!

The British RAF base where I was stationed as part of a contingent of USAF personnel had one narrow road winding through the crowded residential area. After a rash of minor vehicle pedestrian accidents, the USAF commander decided to reduce the speed limit to three m.p.h.

Shortly after the new limit was posted, an MP sergeant issued a speeding citation to a jeep driver for going five m.p.h. I was curious to know how the MP had determined the jeep's speed so exactly. "I was jogging to get to the PX before it closed," he explained, "and as I passed the jeep, I noticed that the speedometer read five m.p.h."

我作爲美國空軍人員分遣部隊的一員駐紮在英國皇家空軍某某地，那裏有一條狹窄的馬路蜿蜒穿過擁擠的居民區。因爲多次出現汽車撞傷行人一類不甚嚴重的車禍，美國空軍司令員決定將車速限制在每小時三英里。

新的車速限制公佈後不久，一名騎警中士因一名吉普車司機開車時速達五英里而給他開了一張超速傳票。

我很想知道騎警是怎樣如此精確地知道那輛吉普車的速度的。“我遛達着要在郵局關門之前到達那裏，”他解釋道：“當我超過吉普車時，我注意到計速器指向了每小時五英里。”

My battery commander and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance sergeant in our artillery unit. The selected soldier needed to have keen eyesight, plus the ability to react quickly. During one interview, the commander pointed to a hill about a mile away and asked a young sergeant, "Can you see that hill over there?"

"Yes, sir." he replied.

"Can you see the radio antenna on that hill?" Again, the soldier said that he could. "Well, then," the commander went on, "Can you see that bird sitting on the antenna?"

The sergeant leaned forward and squinted. "No, sir," he said, "but I can hear it is singing."

He got the job.

我和連長在面試我們炮兵部隊偵察中士一職的候選人。被選的士兵要求有敏銳的觀察力及快速的反應力。在一次面試時，連長指着一英里外的一座小山問一名年輕的中士：“你能看見那座山嗎?”

“是的，長官。”他回答道。

“你能看見那座山上的無線電天線嗎?”那士兵又說他能。“那麼，”連長接着說：“你能看見停在天線上的那隻鳥嗎?”

那名中士身體前傾，眼睛眯成一條縫。“看不見，長官，”他說，“但我聽見它在唱歌。”

他得到了那份工作。

As a newly commissinaed infantry lieutenant, I was eager to set an example for my platoon by cleaning my own M-16 rifle. While we were working on the weapons, one soldier complained about the unusual notched shape of the M-16's bolt and chamber, which makes it difficult to clean.

"Lieutenant, they need to make something to clean this with," the soldier said.

"They do," piped up a sergeant.

"Really," I said with surprise, wondering why we had not ordered such a tool.

"Yes, sir," replied the sergeant. "It's called a soldier."

正是士兵

作爲一名新上任的步兵中尉，我通過擦拭自己的M-16式自動步槍給全排作個榜樣。我們一塊擦槍，一名戰士抱怨由於M-16的槍栓槍膛的特別凹形結構，擦起來十分困難。

“中尉，應該製造一種擦這槍的工具。”士兵說。

“已經制造出來了。”一軍士尖叫。

“真的?”我十分詫異，納悶爲什麼我們沒有定購這種工具。

“真的，長官，”軍士答道，“它就是士兵。”