原來男性也會被女性虐待
When Jacob Noll* was growing up in the Midwest, he could never have imagined he would experience domestic violence. "I was a straight, white guy in a normal, small town that kind of catered to people like me," he says wryly. "My family was really close. My folks are still together. There were no big family problems that would have given me some kind of a window into how dark the world can be." Yet Noll spent several years in such darkness after falling in love with Courtney, a woman he met online.
雅克布•諾爾在中西部長大，他從未想過自己會被家暴。“我是直男，很正常的一個白人小夥兒，我長大的小鎮也養育了和我一樣的人，”他苦澀的說道。“我的家人關係很好。我的家人們現在還住在一起。家庭內部沒有什麼大的矛盾，因此我沒有機會知道世界是如何的黑暗。”但是諾爾在網上認識了考特尼，並愛上了她，從而度過了好幾年的黑暗時光。
Courtney was a year older than Noll, and from the start, he was enchanted by her presence online. She was pretty, he says, but more than that, she found him funny and engaging. Noll says he "made a play" to meet Courtney in person - they lived a few hours apart from each other - and was disappointed when she declined. But a year later, in 2006, she emailed Noll "out of the blue." She was just out of a relationship and asked if he wanted to get together. "I ran at it," he says of her offer. "It was an adventure to get to know her because she lived far away."
考特尼比諾爾大一歲，一開始的時候，諾爾就被考特尼的網上形象給迷住了。他說她很好看，而且她還覺得他有趣迷人。諾爾說他“試圖”約考特尼本人見面——他們之間只隔着幾小時車程——被考特爾拒絕後，他十分失望。但一年後，也就是2006年，她突然給諾爾發了封郵件。那時候她剛剛分手，問諾爾想不想要和她在一起。“我跑過去了，”他回覆道。“因爲她住的很遠，所以瞭解她就像是一場冒險。”
It was the summer of 2006, and Noll was 22 years old. He was a somewhat rudderless college grad; he wanted to do big things, but wasn't sure what that looked like. Instead, he poured his energies into nurturing a relationship with Courtney. She was charming and funny, but also vulnerable. He thought he could help her, perhaps be her knight in shining armor. The long-distance relationship progressed quickly. Even from the beginning, Noll saw signs of volatility, but he always found a way to write them off, even when they involved Courtney's episodes of drinking too much and passing out. "I would always put it back on myself and say, 'You're a guy who's not good with emotions and feelings. You're dumb, you're a dunce, and she just knows more [about feelings]’," he admits.
那時候是2006年夏天，諾爾當年22歲。他是個不知前途在何方的大學畢業生；他想成就一番大業，但又不知道自己想做什麼。反而，他傾注全力和考特尼在一起。她風趣有魅力，但也很脆弱。他以爲披着閃亮的鎧甲，做她的騎士就能幫到她。這段異地戀進展的很快。即使剛開始諾爾就發現了倆人感情關係不確定的因素，但他也總能想辦法去除這些因素。“我總是把問題歸咎到自己身上，自言自語‘你是個不擅長處理情感的人。你是傻瓜、是笨蛋，她對情感的瞭解比你多了去了’，”他承認道。
