5大理由遠離渾身充滿負能量的朋友

Most of us have at least one friend we consider toxic: the loser friend who disrupts our entire world the second they step into it. We know things would be so much easier if we cut them loose, yet we spend more time figuring out why we stay than it would take to actually leave.

大多數人都至少有一個渾身散發負能量的“有毒”的朋友：只要他們前腳踏足，我們的世界馬上變得亂七八糟。我們都知道遠離這樣的朋友，事情會變得更加簡單，其實我們已經花了太多時間去思考爲什麼還要留在這樣的朋友身邊。

Why You Have Loser Friends

爲什麼你有負能量的朋友

The truth is, it happens for a multitude of reasons:

實際上，有很多原因：

You’ve been friends with them since you were kids.

你們是發小。

You know them so well you’re constantly justifying their behavior.

太瞭解他們了，所以經常評判他們的行爲。

You feel guilty because they don’t have anyone else to turn to.

他們沒有其他可以求助的對象，所以你會有負罪感。

You feel obligated to spend time with them because they’re a mutual friend of your BFF/spouse/family member.

他們也是你男朋友/配偶/家庭成員，所以你覺得有責任要陪着他們。

You’re afraid of how they’ll react if you confront them (a.k.a. more drama).

如果你跟他們正面遭遇，你很怕他們會有的反應（會更戲劇化）。

You feel it’s easier to deal with them than disrupt your lifestyle any further.

與其破壞現有的生活方式，還不如和他們繼續相處下去。

Usually though, it’s a simple case of outgrowing each other. What caused you to “click” initially as friends no longer applies, or your lives are going in completely different directions.

通常情況下，這只是簡單的兩個人不搭的問題而已。當初讓你覺得是朋友的衝動不復存在，或者是你倆的生活方向截然不同。

What Constitutes a Loser Friend?

到底負能量朋友的標誌是什麼？

When I use the term “loser friend,” I don’t mean they themselves are losers—everyone is entitled to live their life exactly how they want to—but what they’re doing to your life is causing you to lose what you want… and you’re letting it happen.

我用的短語是“負能量朋友”，我的意思並不是他們本身就是負能量的，畢竟每個人都有權利去照着自己的想法來生活，但如果他們給你生活造成的影響使你失去了你想要的東西，你就需要注意了。

If you have friends who do any of the following, you need to seriously consider their place in your life:

如果你有朋友幹以下這些事情，你需要認真的考慮考慮他們在你生活中的地位了。

They’re not supportive.

他們幫不上忙。

They’re not there when you need them.

你需要他們的時候總是不在。

They’re only there when they need you.

只有在需要你的時候他們纔會出現。

They make you feel drained.

他們讓你覺得累。

They have no ambition.

他們沒有野心。

They constantly infuriate you.

他們經常激怒你。

They expect you to drop everything when they want to do something.

當他們想幹什麼的時候，他們希望你能拋下一切。

They think everything is an urgent crisis.

他們覺得每件事都是急事。

Take it from someone who watched her own life implode: if you want to be amazing, you have to spend your time with amazing people. In order to make room for these people, you have to leave your loser friends behind.

從那些內心充滿激情的人中學習學習吧：如果你想變得厲害，你必須花時間和那些厲害的人在一起。爲了空出時間給這些人，還是拋下負能量的朋友們吧。

Why You Should Leave Your Loser Friends Behind

爲什麼要遠離負能量的朋友

It’s not going to be easy, but letting them go is a necessary part of creating the life you’ve always wanted for yourself. Otherwise:

這也不是那麼簡單的一件事，但是想要過上自己想要的生活，遠離他們是必須的，否則：

1. They’ll hold you back from your full potential.

他們會耗光你所有的潛能

The biggest thing I learned from my experience with friends like these is that you’ll never live up to your full potential if you’re constantly weighed down by unnecessary drama and complication. In order to succeed, you need a solid routine and a strong support system. Consider your loser friends the loose floorboard in that support system, constantly distracting you from your goals.

我個人對於這類朋友最大的經驗就是，如果你長期被他們不必要的戲劇化和複雜性干擾，你永遠無法發揮自己最大的潛能。要想成功，你需要一個堅定的路線和強大的支持體系。把那些負能量朋友踢出你的後備軍團吧，他們能做的只是干擾你罷了。

2. They’ll make you feel like crap about yourself.

他們會讓你覺得很糟糕

When they want you to do something you don’t want to do, they’ll constantly nag you and make you feel guilty about being who you are until you cave to their demands. It’s an incessant, vicious cycle that won’t end until you put a stop to it. If you don’t, get ready for a wide array of self-esteem issues.

如果他們想你去做你不願意做的事情，他們會一直纏着你，讓你有負罪感，覺得你應該滿足他們的需求。這樣一來就會形成惡性循環，無休無止。但如果不遠離，你就做好各類打擊自信的心理準備吧。

3. They’ll negatively impact your reputation.

他們會對你的名聲產生負面影響

You were guilted into going to that party and became your sloppy friend’s crutch, and the dream employer you’ve wanted to work with since you were in public school is going to know that when they’re checking out the horrific pictures you’re tagged in on Facebook.

你被朋友說服陪TA去參加聚會（不去你會覺得很內疚），成爲你懶散朋友的柺杖。你從上公立學校開始就一直夢想爲其工作的理想僱主，早就在臉書裏看過你那些恐怖的照片了，而你卻對此一無所知。

More than that, if you’re this easily influenced in your personal life, they’re going to assume you won’t be able to hack it in a professional setting.

不僅如此，如果這個輕而易舉的就影響到你的個人生活，他們就會覺得你無法在專業的環境中應對自如。

4. They’ll bring out the worst in you.

他們會讓你不自覺展示最差的那一面

You know all of those bad habits you’re trying to break? Your loser friends will make it so difficult for you to build good habits you’ll constantly crack under the pressure and eventually give up on the concept entirely. After all, if you change for the better, your relationship with them will change for the worse, and will work against what they need from you.

你想試圖改掉那些壞習慣？這些負能量朋友會讓你舉步維艱，你無法養成好的習慣，在重壓之下你最終就會放棄。畢竟，如果你變得更好，你和他們的關係就會變得更差，這會妨礙到他們利用你。

5. They’ll dim the good things in your life.

他們會毀了你生活中的美好事物

You’ll be so focused on their drama, needs, and wants, the stress of your friendship will cause you to lose focus on the aspects of your life that are going well. Simply put, negativity breeds negativity—is this really how you want your life to be?

你總是關注他們的戲劇化生活、需要和想法，這種友情的壓力會讓你無法關注自己正在變好的生活。簡單的說，消極帶來消極——你難道真希望生活變成這樣麼？

So what are you waiting for? Leave drama to the circus and live your life exactly how you want to, with who you want to. If you don’t decide to do so now, your loser friends will decide for you.

你還在等什麼呢？把這類人撇除自己的生活圈，好好的和那些你願意在一起的朋友們過上自己想過的生活。如果你現在還不做決定，那些負能量朋友就會左右你。