購物能緩解焦慮嗎?

I am trying to fall asleep, and it feels like there's an enormous weight on my chest. It's not the first time I've had that sensation. It's just the first time I've paid for it.

我試着入睡，但卻感覺有一股沉重的力量壓在我的胸部。我並非第一次有這種感覺，但這是我第一次爲此付出代價。

Over the past few years, I've experienced enough cataclysmic jolts - including grief, financial insecurity, and a few brushes with death for both my firstborn - to significantly rewire the brain I used to consider so resilient and optimistic. And after grappling with insomnia, debilitating headaches and panic attacks, I got a diagnosis of anxiety and PTSD and a treatment plan. I still have bad days and better days, but therapy and Wellbutrin have been life changing. Exercise, support and meditation have also given it all a big boost, along with the ongoing experiment of buying stuff.

過去幾年，我的生活大起大落--沉浸於悲傷之中無法自拔、經濟得不到保障、長子的離世--很大程度上改寫了我對自己的看法，以前我總以爲自己的復原能力很強、以爲自己是樂觀向上的。經歷了失眠、頭痛和恐慌症發作後，我患了焦慮症以及創傷後應激障礙，同時做出了治療計劃。我的生活仍有起有伏，但治療和安非他酮改變了我的生活。鍛鍊、支持和冥想也讓我有所好轉，當然出去購物也起到了積極作用。

I'm a skeptic who spent years rolling her eyes when her friends talked about their homeopathic remedies. But last winter, in the throes of my crisis, I went out with a friend. She is a therapist. She is from Norway. She has a kid with serious depression. Two hours later I was on Amazon, ordering something called a Happy Light.

我是位懷疑論者。多年來當朋友們談論順勢療法時，我都會翻白眼表示不屑。但去年冬天，我在非常痛苦的時候和朋友出去了。她是位治療師，來自挪威。她的孩子患有嚴重抑鬱症。治療2小時後，我竟然開始逛亞馬遜了，還買了一個叫做"快樂燈"的物件。

I talked to my therapist about it, and a few days later, I was eating my breakfast at my desk, feeling like I was at a Yankees night game. Using the light did not feel like basking in the warm, inviting light of the sun. It was instead bright as hell, and I was not immediately charmed. But I kept routinely flipping it on every cold, dark morning regardless, until the sunrise caught up with my alarm.

我和治療師聊了自己的情況，幾天後，我居然能坐在桌上吃早餐，就好像昨天看了場洋基隊的比賽一樣。燈光治療並不像在暖洋洋的陽光下沐浴，相反，燈光治療是處於極亮的環境中，一開始我並沒有被這種環境迷住。但每個冰冷、黑暗的早晨，我都會打開燈光，直到太陽升起，鬧鈴作響。

In the spring, at a checkup to see how I was responding to Wellbutrin, my physician mentioned that my vitamin D level was low, and recommended I start taking a supplement. "Some of my patients say it improves their moods," he added. Well then, sign me up, I thought, making a mental note to detour to the Walgreens on the way home.

春天的時候，我做了關於安非他酮反應的檢查，醫生說我的維生素D水平很低，建議我開始服用補充劑。"有些病人告訴我，補充劑可以讓他們更快樂，"醫生補充道。那就給我也開一些吧，我想到，但卻在盤算着回家路上繞道去一趟沃爾格林藥店。

There's the Dohm white noise machine, which helps blot out both screaming street noise and my spouse's snoring. They say money can't buy happiness, but it can reduce my anxiety.

這家藥店還可以買到多姆白噪音機（Dohm white noise machine），有助於消除街道上嘈雜的尖叫聲和另一半的打呼聲。人們常說金錢買不到快樂，但卻能緩解我的抑鬱症狀。