有關不忠的令人吃驚的事實
Fact #1: Most men are still in love with their wives when they cheat.
事實一：大多數男人在出軌的時候，仍舊愛着自己的老婆。Men who cheat haven't fallen out of love; they've become unsatisfied with the current state of it. "Cheating usually occurs in the phase of companionate love, when couples begin to settle down, have kids," says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD. While they're fulfilled in some areas, like being a provider, the romance may be missing.
出軌的男人並不是不愛了，只是他們對目前的感情狀態不滿意。"人們通常在伴侶式愛情階段出軌（夫妻雙方開始安頓下來、有了孩子），"臨牀心理學家安德拉·布羅什博士說道。雖然他們在某些領域感到滿足，比如是家庭的經濟支柱，但他們卻覺得缺少了浪漫。"We more often think of women complaining about a lack of romance, but men feel it, too," says Dr. Brosh. "They frequently suffer in silence, believing they can't get what they want from their spouses." To avoid this in your marriage, plan nights out together, and discuss hopes and dreams-not just workdays and your son's last soccer game.
"我們總覺得女性會埋怨不浪漫，但男性也會有同樣的感受，"布羅什博士說。"他們備受沉默的煎熬，認爲無法從另一半身上得到自己想要的東西。"爲了避免自己的婚姻出現這一狀況，你可以計劃共度浪漫一夜、討論彼此的希望和夢想--不只是工作日和兒子的最後一場足球比賽。
Fact #2: Men usually cheat with women they know.
事實二：男人通常會出軌他們認識的女人。Cheaters don't generally pick up random women in bars. "My first husband cheated on me with a childhood friend," says Diane* from New York City. "His family was close to her family, so they never lost touch." Intimacy expert Mary Jo Rapini explains, "A lot of women think that all cheating women are floozies-not true. The relationships are usually friendships first." In fact, more than 60% of affairs start at work, according to Focus on the Family. A good idea: Make sure your husband feels more connected to you than to his business partner. "Spouses go to work, take care of their kids and do separate things at night. That has to stop," says Rapini. She suggests always going to bed at the same time and cuddling.
出軌者通常不會對酒吧剛認識的姑娘下手。"我的第一任丈夫出軌了兒時的朋友，"紐約市的戴安娜說道。"他的家人和她的家人很熟，所以他們一直都有聯繫。"親密關係專家瑪麗·喬·拉皮妮解釋道，"很多女性認爲出軌的女性都是蕩婦--但事實並非如此。他們的感情都是從友情開始。"Focus on the Family表示：事實上，60%的婚外情源於工作。好主意：確保丈夫和你的關係比他和商業夥伴的關係更密切。"夫妻一起上班、照顧他們的孩子、晚上各做各的事。這種模式必須停止，"拉皮妮說道。她建議人們一起上牀睡覺、而且要抱着睡。Fact #3: Men cheat to save their marriages.
事實三：男人出軌是爲了挽救他們的婚姻。"Men love their spouses, but they don't know how to fix their relationship problems, so they go outside their marriages to fill any holes," says licensed marriage and family therapist Susan Mandel, PhD. Then, they can live happily ever after with their wife-and their mistress-without confronting the real issues.
"男人很愛他們的老婆，但卻不知該如何解決他們的情感問題，所以他們出去找人填補空缺，"持證婚姻和家庭治療師蘇珊·曼德爾博士說道。然後，他們就可以和自己的妻子--還有他們的情婦--幸福美滿的生活，從來都不正視真正的問題。
