名著欣賞《芒果街上的小屋》第13期:我的名字(2)

《芒果街上的小屋》 一本優美純淨的小書，一本“詩小說”。由幾十個短篇組成，語言清澈如流水，點綴着零落的韻腳和新奇的譬喻，如一首首長歌短調，各自成韻，又彼此鉤連，匯聚出一個清晰世界，各樣雜沓人生。所有的講述都歸於一個敘述中心：居住在芝加哥拉美移民社區芒果街上的女孩埃斯佩朗莎。生就對弱的同情心和對美的感覺力，她用清澈的眼打量周圍的世界，用美麗稚嫩的語言講述成長、滄桑、生命的美好與不易和年輕的熱望與夢想，夢想有一所自己的房子，夢想在寫作中追尋自我，獲得自由和幫助別人的能力。

　　My name 2
　　And the story goes she never forgave him. She looked out the window her whole life, the way so many women sit their sadness on an elbow. I wonder if she made the best with what she got or was she dory because she couldn`t be all the things she wanted to be. Esperanza. I have inherited her name, but I don't want to inherit her place by the window.

　　At school they say my name funny as if the syllables were made out of tin and hurt the roof of your mouth. But in Spanish my name is made out of a softer something, like silver, not quite as thick as sister`s name—Magdalena—— which is uglier than mine. Magdalena who at least can come home and become Nenny. But I am always Esperanza.

　　I would like to baptize myself under a new name, a name more like the real me, the one nobody see. Esperanza as Lasiandra or Maritza or Zeze the . something like Zeze the X will do.
　　　　　　
　　我的名字 2
　　後來，她永遠沒有原諒他。她用一生向窗外凝望，像許多女人那樣凝望，胳膊肘之前憂傷。我想知道她是否隨遇而安；是否會爲做不成她想做的人而傷懷。埃斯佩朗莎。我繼承了她的名字，可我不想繼承她在窗邊的位置。

　　在學校裏，他們說我的名字很滑稽，音節好像是鐵皮做的，會碰痛嘴巴里的上顎。可是在西班牙語裏，我的名字是更柔和的東西做的，像銀子，沒有的妹妹的名字那麼渾厚。他叫瑪格達蕾娜，這名字沒我的美。瑪格達蕾娜回到家裏可以叫蕾妮。可我總是埃斯佩朗莎。

　　我想給自己起一個新名字，一個和真實的自我更像的名字，一個人見過的名字。埃斯佩蘭薩，就像蒂牡花或者馬麗茶或者某澤澤。是的，我會起一個就像某澤澤的名字。