經典科幻文學:《 基本上無害 Mostly Harmless》 第8章2

The truth of the matter was that all sorts of highly dodgy stuff went on behind the cheery, happy-go-lucky front that the Guide liked to put up – or used to like to put up before this new InfiniDim Enterprises bunch marched in and started to make the whole thing highly dodgy. There were all kinds of tax scams and rackets and graft and shady deals supporting the shining edifice, and down in the secure research and data-processing levels of the building was where it all went on.~

事情的真相是這樣的：《指南》裏其實一直藏滿了各種各樣騙人的玩意，只不過早先還有張看起來開開心心，逍遙自在的假面具，騙人的把戲通通躲在這張《指南》鍾愛的面具背後——或者說它曾經鍾愛的面具背後——直到無敵帥公司那夥人大搖大擺地走進來，把裏子面子都改造得特騙人爲止。閃閃發光的大廈全靠偷稅漏稅，商業欺詐，移花接木和暗箱操作撐着，而樓下負責搞安全研究與數據處理的幾個樓層就是這一切發生的地方。

Every few years the Guide would set up its business, and indeed its building on a new world, and all would be sunshine and laughter for a while as the Guide would put down its roots in the local culture and economy, provide employment, a sense of glamour and adventure and, in the end, not quite as much actual revenue as the locals had expected.

每隔幾年，《指南》都會把生意——其實還包括它的大樓——挪個地方，之後的一段時間裏就到處陽光燦爛，歌舞昇平；《指南》會紮根當地的經濟，文化，提供就業機會，讓當地人感到一種魅力十足的冒險激情，並且，到最後，發現自己口袋裏的票子其實並沒有像期待中那樣的實質性增長。

When the Guide moved on, taking its building with it, it left a little like a thief in the night. Exactly like a thief in the night in fact. It usually left in the very early hours of the morning, and the following day there always turned out to be a very great deal of stuff missing. Whole cultures and economies would collapse in its wake, often within a week, leaving once thriving planets desolate and shell-shocked but still somehow feeling they had been part of some great adventure.

然後，《指南》會再次搬家，並把大樓一塊兒帶走。撤退的時候，它可能會有點像夜裏的小毛賊——事實上應該說完全是夜裏的小毛賊，基本上，它都是天不亮就出發，等天亮之後，當地人總會發現少了好多好多東西。整個整個的文明和經濟都會跟着分崩瓦解，通常是在《指南》搬走後的一個星期以內。曾經繁榮富足的星球變得滿目瘡痍，一貧如洗，不過大家心裏仍然會有種感覺，覺得自己好像參與了什麼偉大的冒險之類。

The ‘operatives’ who shot puzzled glances at Ford as he marched on into the depths of the building’s most sensitive areas were reassured by the presence of Colin, who was flying along with him in a buzz of emotional fulfilment and easing his path for him at every stage.

對於大步走在最敏感地帶的福特，“員工”們都報以疑惑的目光，不過，科林的存在又令他們放下心來。小機器人帶着極端心滿意足的情緒飛在福特身邊，每一個階段都爲他保駕護航掃清道路。

Alarms were starting to go off in other parts of the building. Perhaps that meant that Vann Harl had already been discovered, which might be a problem. Ford had been hoping he would be able to slip the Ident-i-Eeze back into his pocket before he came round. Well, that was a problem for later, and he didn’t for the moment have the faintest idea how he was going to solve it. For the moment he wasn’t going to worry. Wherever he went with little Colin, he was surrounded by a cocoon of sweetness and light and, most importantly, willing and acquiescent elevators and positively obsequious doors.

警報開始在大樓的其他部分響起。或許有人已經發現了範.哈爾，真要這樣就麻煩了。福特原本指望速戰速決，趁他還暈着就能把“我-真是-我”塞回他口袋裏。算了，現在沒必要思前想後；對於待會兒該怎麼收拾這爛攤子，福特眼下半點頭緒也沒有，所以他暫時還不準備開始傷腦筋。反正無論他和小科林走到哪兒，周圍都是鋪天蓋地的一片甜蜜歡快，而且，最重要的是，還有樂意有順從的電梯外加簡直極盡阿諛的大門。

Ford even began to whistle, which was probably his mistake. Nobody likes a whistler, particularly not the divinity that shapes our ends.

福特開始吹口哨，這大概不是什麼明智之舉。沒有喜歡吹口哨的傢伙，尤其是那些把我們攥在手心裏的神仙。

The next door wouldn’t open.

下一扇門不肯打開。

And that was a pity, because it was the very one that Ford had been making for. It stood there before him, grey and resolutely closed with a sign on it saying:

太可惜了，因爲它正好就是福特的目標。它站在他面前，從頭到腳的灰色，關得堅定不移，上頭的牌子上寫着：

NO ADMITTANCE.

嚴禁入內

NOT EVEN TO AUTHORISED PERSONNEL.

包括內部人員

YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME HERE.

你在浪費自己的時間

GO AWAY.

走開