經典科幻文學:《 基本上無害 Mostly Harmless》 第6章2

He had discovered that the reason for the carnival atmosphere on Saquo-Pilia Hensha was that the local people were celebrating the annual feast of the Assumption of St Antwelm. St Antwelm had been, during his lifetime, a great and popular king who had made a great and popular assumption. What King Antwelm had assumed was that what everybody wanted, all other things being equal, was to be happy and enjoy themselves and have the best possible time together. On his death he had willed his entire personal fortune to financing an annual festival to remind everyone of this, with lots of good food and dancing and very silly games like Hunt the Wocket. His Assumption had been such a brilliantly good one that he was made into a saint for it. Not only that, but all the people who had previously been made saints for doing things like being stoned to death in a thoroughly miserable way or living upside down in barrels of dung were instantly demoted and were now thought to be rather embarrassing.

他已經發現，薩誇-派利亞.亨薩之所以帶着狂歡節的氛圍，是因爲當地人正在慶祝一年一度的聖安忒維姆昇天節。聖安忒維姆生前是個廣受愛戴的偉大國王，曾經提出過一個同樣廣受愛戴的偉大假說。聖安忒維姆假說的內容是，在其他一切條件對等的情況下，大家最希望的就是高高興興，開開心心，再儘可能一起好好樂樂。他死的時候留下遺囑，把所有財產用於贊助一年一度的節慶，過節時所有人都好吃好喝，跳舞唱歌，再玩些諸如狩獵毛怪之類的傻瓜遊戲，以此提醒大家記住這個理論。聖安忒維姆的假說是如此光輝燦爛精妙絕倫，最後大家乾脆把他追封爲聖人。不僅如此，過去的那些聖人，無論是悽慘無比被石頭砸死還是頭下腳上住在糞桶裏搞到封號的，全部立即降級，而且現在大家想起來，都覺得他們挺丟人的。

The familiar H-shaped building of the Hitch Hiker’s Guide offices rose above the outskirts of the city, and Ford Prefect had broken into it in the familiar way. He always entered via the ventilation system rather than the main lobby because the main lobby was patrolled by robots whose job it was to quiz incoming employees about their expense accounts. Ford Prefect’s expense accounts were notoriously complex and difficult affairs and he had found, on the whole, that the lobby robots were ill-equipped to understand the arguments he wished to put forward in relation to them. He preferred, therefore, to make his entrance by another route.

《銀河系漫遊指南》熟悉的H型大樓矗立在城市的郊區，福特.長官照老辦法闖了進來。他從來不走大堂，而是從通風系統走，因爲大堂有機器人巡邏，專門攔住進門的員工，檢查他們報銷經費的情況。福特.長官的報銷單及其複雜難搞，早已經臭名遠揚。他發現，總的來說，大堂的機器人缺乏很好的裝備，沒法理解他提出的那些個論證，因此他寧願另找通道入場。

This meant setting off nearly every alarm in the building, but not the one in the accounts department, which was the way that Ford preferred it.

這就意味着大樓裏幾乎所有警報都會拉響，只除了會計部的那一個，而這正合福特的心意。

He hunkered down behind the storage cabinet, he licked the rubber suction cup of the toy arrow, and then fitted it to the string of the bow.

他在儲物櫃背後蹲下，舔舔玩具箭的吸盤，然後把它搭到弓弦上。只過了三十秒鐘，一個小西瓜大小的機器人沿走廊過來，它飛行在大概齊腰的角度，一面前進一面左右搜索異常情況。

Within about thirty seconds a security robot the size of a small melon came flying down the corridor at about waist height, scanning left and right for anything unusual as it did so. With impeccable timing Ford shot the toy arrow across its path. The arrow flew across the corridor and stuck, wobbling, on the opposite wall. As it flew, the robot’s sensors locked on to it instantly and the robot twisted through ninety degrees to follow it, see what the hell it was and where it was going.

福特射出玩具箭，時間拿捏的恰到好處，箭從機器人身前穿過走廊，顫顫巍巍地貼在了對面的牆壁上，它剛一飛出去，機器人的感應器就立刻把它鎖定，然後自己一個九十度的大轉彎跟了上去，想看看那該死的東西到底是什麼玩意兒，想往哪裏去。

This bought Ford one precious second, during which the robot was looking in the opposite direction from him. He hurled the towel over the flying robot and caught it.

現在機器人全神貫注地注視着跟福特相反的方向，這給了他寶貴的一秒鐘，他趁機把毛巾扔過去，逮住了它。

Because of the various sensory protuberances with which the robot was festooned, it couldn’t manoeuvre inside the towel, and it just twitched back and forth without being able to turn and face its captor.

機器人身上鼓着各式各樣的傳感器，不可能在毛巾裏活動自如；它前前後後地扭個不停，可總也沒法把臉朝向獵人。

Ford hauled it quickly towards him and pinned it down to the ground. It was beginning to whine pitifully. With one swift and practised movement, Ford reached under the towel with his No.3 gauge prising tool and flipped off the small plastic panel on top of the robot which gave access to its logic circuits.

福特迅速把它拉到自己的身邊，按在地上。它開始發出可憐巴巴的嗚嗚聲。福特把自己的3號扳手伸到毛巾底下，撬開了機器人頭頂上蓋住邏輯電路的塑料面板，動作極爲敏捷，顯然訓練有素。

Now logic is a wonderful thing but it has, as the processes of evolution discovered, certain drawbacks.

邏輯的確是個好東西，不過呢，進化的發展也告訴我們，它同樣帶有某些缺陷。