英語幽默冷笑話6則

下面是本站小編整理的英語幽默冷笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語幽默冷笑話：A New Employee

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.

What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.

Well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.

一個年輕人在被僱用幾個星期後，被叫到人事經理的辦公室。

這是什麼意思?經理問，當你申請這份工作時，你告訴我們有五年工作經驗，現在我們發現這其實是你的第一份工作。

嗯，年輕人回答，你們的廣告上說需要找一個有想象力的人嘛。

　　英語幽默冷笑話：Two Pieces of Cake

Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

Mom: Certainly----take this piece and cut it two!

兩塊蛋糕

湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?

媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!

　　英語幽默冷笑話：Not Knowing Her Well

Wife: Bill, the man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes back in the evening. Why don't you do that too?

Husband: Well, I don't know her very well yet.

我跟她還不熟

妻子：比爾，住在對面那所房子的那個男人早上出門前總要吻一下妻子，晚上回來時再吻一下，你爲什麼不那樣做呢?

丈夫：哦，我跟她還不是很熟。

　　英語幽默冷笑話：

As a new father, I quickly learned the true meaning of maternal instinct. Late one night, I was summoned to the hospital to attend to one of my patients. I quietly got up in the dark but tripped over a toy and crashed to the floor. As I lay there rubbing my sore leg, my wife slept on.

Then there was a faint cough from the nursery . Debra leaped out of bed, running past me down the hall to our baby's room. When she returned, she looked at me and said, What on earth are you doing on the floor?

剛剛作了父親，我就很快體會到母性本能的涵義了。一個深夜，醫院召我去照應一位病人。我悄悄地在黑暗中起了牀，但一隻腳絆在一個玩具上，撲通一聲摔在地板上。我倒在那裏，揉着疼痛的腿，妻子毫無反應地繼續睡着。

突然，保育宣傳來輕微的咳嗽聲。戴博拉躍下牀來，從我身邊跑過，下了客廳到我們嬰兒的房間。她返回來時，看了看我說：你究竟在地板上幹什麼?

　　英語幽默冷笑話：Neither 都不是

It was local election time and the candidate was visiting all the houses in his area.

At one house a small boy answered the door. "Tell me, young man," said the politician. "Is your Mommy in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party?"

"Neither," said the child, "she's in the bathroom."

正值當地競選時期，候選人到他的區域的千家萬戶登門拜訪。

候選人來到了一家門口，一個小男孩開了門。“告訴我，年輕人，”候選人問道，“你母親是在共和黨還是在民主黨?”

“都不是，”孩子答到，“她在浴室。”

　　英語幽默冷笑話：誰發現了澳大利亞?

Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me,Johnny.

老師: 約翰尼，在地圖上給我找出澳大利亞在什麼地方。

Johnny: It's there , sir.

約翰尼: 先生，在這兒。

Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

老師: 對了。薩默，你來回答是誰發現了澳大利亞?

Sammy: Johnny, sir.

薩默: 先生，是約翰尼。