英語幽默笑話7則
下面是本站小編整理的英語幽默笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
英語幽默笑話：
George Ⅲ asked the once wellknown wit， Horne Tooke，whether he could play cards.
Your Majesty， replied Tooke， I am a mere childwhere cards are concerned. I cannot even tell a King from aKnave.
喬治三世問一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩·圖克，會不會玩紙牌。
陛下，圖克回答說：在玩紙牌方面，我只不過是幼兒園的水平。我甚至分不清國王和無賴。
英語幽默笑話：
When our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine.
Years later, when i felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named you after my own father because I loved him very much. I know he would be proud of you.
Myles thought carefully about this and
then said, I know all that, Mom. But I don't understand why my grandfather had a girl's name
女兒出生時，我們給她取名叫邁爾斯，和我深愛的業已過世的父親同一個名字，不顧家人提醒這個名字太男性化了。
幾年以後，我覺得邁爾斯已經長大，能夠懂事了。我對她解釋說：你的名字很特別。我給你取了一個和我爸爸一樣 的名字，因爲我非常愛他。我相信他會爲你而深感自豪的。
邁爾斯很仔細地想了一下，然後說道：這些我都懂，媽媽。可是我不知道外公爲什麼會有一個女孩子的名字。
英語幽默笑話：Excuse for Speeding
Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car
pulled them over.
‘Why on earth were you driving so fast?’ the policeman
yelled.
’Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we
had an accident!’
超速的理由
哈里與勞埃德超速行駛，一輛警車攔住了他們。
你們爲什麼開那麼快?警官喊道。
我們的剎車不好，因此我們想在發生事故前趕緊到達目的地。
英語幽默笑話：
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely.
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It's good to see，said the king，that we have one real man in the these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.
Your Majesty，came the reply in a squealing voice，it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
古代有一個國王，他想證明他領土內的男人並非像人們傳說的那樣，受到老婆的管制。他把王國裏所有的男人都召到跟前，警告說，哪個男人膽敢不說實話，就會受到嚴厲的懲罰。
然後，他叫所有聽從妻子的命令和意見的男人都走向大廳的左側。所有的男人都站到了左側，只有一個小個子男人站到了右側。
國王說：看到我們國家裏還有一個真正的男子漢，真是令人高興。告訴這些膽小的笨蛋，爲什麼在他們當中只有你一個人站在大廳的右側。
陛下，那人尖聲地回答：因爲在我出門之前，我老婆告訴我不要扎堆。
英語幽默笑話：The boy and the snails 男孩和蝸牛
A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"
一個鄉下少年到處尋找蝸牛，當他雙手都塞滿了蝸牛後，就準備點火烤着吃。火點着了，蝸牛也開始感覺到熱了，他們紛紛退向堅殼的深處，同時還發出“噝噝”的噪音。男孩子聽到了蝸牛發出的噓聲，便說：“你們這些連命都快沒有的傢伙，怎麼還能有心情在窩裏着火時吹口哨呢?”
英語幽默笑話：Don't Argue with Children 不要和小孩爭論
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
一個小女孩和她的老師正在談論有關鯨魚的事情。
她的老師說：“一頭鯨魚從身體構造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個人的。因爲儘管鯨魚是一種非常巨大的哺乳動物，可它的嗓子非常小。”
那個小女孩說約拿(一位西伯來先知)就是被鯨魚吞掉的。
她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說：“從身體構造角度來講，鯨魚是不可能吞掉一個人的。”
那個小女孩說：“那等我到了天堂，就去問問約拿。”
她的老師問：“那麼，假如約拿下了地獄怎麼辦?”
那個小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話，你就去問他。”
英語幽默笑話：A Duel 決鬥
Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody1 nose, black eye, and torn clothing.
It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel2. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
小彼得從操場回到家時，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。
顯然他剛與人惡鬥了一番，而且打輸了。父親問兒子發生了什麼事。“噢，爸爸，彼得說，我向拉里挑起決鬥，而且我讓他挑選武器。”
“嗯，”父親說，“這看上去很公平!”
“我知道，但我沒想到他選擇了他姐姐!”
