趣味幽默英文笑話帶翻譯

笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起着重要調劑作用。下面本站小編爲大家帶來趣味幽默英文笑話帶翻譯，歡迎大家閱讀!

　趣味幽默英文笑話1：

Three famous surgeons were bragging about(吹噓，炫耀) their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist(小提琴家) ." "That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched(縫紉，裝訂)them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner."

"I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior(後部，臀部) - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."

三個有名的外科醫生正在吹噓他們的技術，“一個人斷了一隻手，他來找我，”一個說，“如今那個人是個音樂會的小提琴手。”

“這算不了什麼，”另一個說，“一個傢伙兩條腿斷了，他來找我，我將它們接了回去。如今，那人是馬拉松選手。”

“我比你們兩個都強，”第三個說，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的車禍，除了一個馬屁股，和一幅眼睛，什麼都沒有留下。如今，那人坐在美國參議院裏。”

趣味幽默英文笑話2：

"All the kids make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother, "They say I have a big head."

"Don't listen to them," his mother comforted him, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."

"Where's the shopping bag?"

"I haven't got one, use your hat."

“所有的孩子都拿我開玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟媽媽說：“他們說我長了一個大腦袋。”

“別聽他們的，”他媽媽安慰說：“你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了，別哭了，去商店買10磅土豆來。”

“購物袋在哪?”

“我沒有購物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”

　趣味幽默英文笑話3：

"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.

"When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."

“研究生班和本科生很容易就能區別開來，”在洛杉磯加利福利亞州立大學給我們研究生上工程學課的老師如此說。

“我說‘下午好’，本科生們回答說‘下午好’。研究生們則把我說的話記在筆記本上。”

趣味幽默英文笑話4：

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

獲取研究生學位多年以後，我回到位於賓翰頓的紐約州立大學當教員。一天，電梯裏很擁擠，有人抱怨電梯效率太低。我說自我在那裏當學生起，20年來電梯一直沒有換過。

最後當電梯門打開時，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回過頭來我看到一位年長的修女正在朝我微笑。“你會拿到學位的，親愛的，”她低聲說道：“堅持不懈是一種美德。”