離婚不僅意味着婚姻的終結

Something I've learned through my divorce journey has been life-changing: Ending your marriage is about a lot more than no longer being married to your spouse. When I realized this, and was able to accept it, that's when I started seeing and learning some pretty amazing truths about myself that enabled me to move on in a healthier way.

離婚教會了我改變一生的東西--結束婚姻不僅僅意味着不再與配偶共同經營一段婚姻，其意義更深更遠。意識並能夠接受這一點時，我開始看到自己驚人的一面。生活還得繼續過，我也越來越健康。

The truth is, when you first decide to go your separate ways and end your marriage, you are very focused on what it will feel like to be without a partner: Will I be lonely? How will it affect my kids? What will our friends think?

事實上，當你第一次下定決心結束婚姻，和另一半分道揚鑣時，你就已經在想象沒有另一半的生活了：我會孤單嗎？會不會給孩子造成影響？我們的朋友會怎麼想？

After all the newness wears off and you settle into your new life (and I promise, you will settle, even if it feels like you never will), a lot of stuff continues to come up. You want it to slow down so you can catch your breath, but if you don't deal with the stuff, it will keep showing up.

當新鮮感消磨殆盡，你開始適應新生活（我保證，你肯定會適應的，即使你覺得不會），很多新的問題會相繼出現。你想放慢腳步、喘口氣，但如果不正面應對，那些糟心事還是會繼續出現。

I kept myself busy so I didn't have to listen to the voices in my head trying to tell me to stop and feel and listen. It took me over a year to get that I was only able to truly heal after I sat in the quiet and listened to what my emotions were trying to tell me.

我使自己處於忙碌狀態，這樣就聽不到內心的聲音了：它試圖讓我停下腳步，用心去聽、去感受。我花了一年的時間安靜地傾聽內心的聲音，之後才真正治癒。

Getting divorced makes you realize you aren't perfect. It forces you to take a long, hard look at yourself and the part you played in your marriage. I'm not talking about making yourself feel guilty and self-loathing. I'm talking about signs that came up early in your relationship that you didn't notice. Maybe you were an enabler, codependent or married someone you knew wasn't right but you'd hoped they would change. Or maybe you were blindsided by something they did, and you've had to start over and learn how to trust people again. Whatever the reasons, this experience will change you. Let it.

離婚會讓你意識到你並不完美。會迫使你長時間思考、客觀地審視自己以及自己在婚姻中扮演的角色。當然，我並不想讓你感到內疚、自我厭惡。我指的是好好想想這段關係，回想那些一開始你沒有注意到的徵兆。也許你喜歡教唆他人，與一個你知道不適合自己但卻希望他/她會做出改變的人結了婚。或者你被他們的所作所爲給矇騙了，你必須從頭開始，學習如何信任他人。無論出於何種原因，這一經歷都會讓你有所改變。所以，離婚吧！

Getting divorced makes you take a look at your childhood and realize you may have some old childhood wounds that still need healing. It can be a big eye-opener and let you know you still have work to do on yourself.

離婚會讓你回顧童年生活。也許你會發現，有些童年時代的創傷還需要癒合。離婚或許會打開你的眼界，讓你知道你仍需提升自己。