你們是好朋友,還是你正在精神出軌?大綱

It's an age-old debate: Can men and women really just be best friends-or are they bound to fall for one another eventually? The answer changes depending on who you ask. And complicating the question even more is the fact that a romantic relationship needn't be physical to be real. Hence the increasingly popular term "emotional affair."

這是一場由來已久的辯論：男女之間真的存在純友誼嗎--亦或是他們最終會愛上彼此呢？問的對象不同，得到的答案也不盡相同。這個問題更復雜的一點是：一段浪漫的戀情不一定是肉體上的。因此，"精神出軌"這個術語越來越爲流行。

So what is an emotional affair exactly? According to Kenneth Rosenberg, PhD, author of the new book Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat ($26, ), an emotional affair occurs between two people who share a mutual attraction and a deep, loving relationship that does not involve sex.

所以什麼纔是精神出軌？Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat（亞馬遜網有售，26美元）一書的作者肯尼思·羅森博格博士表示，當兩個人相互吸引、不發生性關係，但卻深深地愛着彼此時，這就是精神出軌。

You're being secretive

你在偷偷摸摸

The telltale sign of an emotional affair? "There's no way in hell you'd tell your primary partner about the relationship," says Rosenberg. That doesn't necessarily mean your S.O. doesn't know you're close with this other person; they just might not realize the extent of the friendship. "We all keep secrets from our partners and we might even have relationships that we might not tell them much about, but if it's a relationship where you know there's some sexual tension and you keep it from your partner, that's a sign you're in troubled waters," says Rosenberg. That brings us to our next point.

能說明精神出軌的跡象？"無論如何，你都不會告訴你的戀人關於你和他/她的感情，"羅森博格說道。這並不一定意味着你的另一半不知道你和這個人走的很近；可能他們只是沒有意識到你們的友誼如此之深。"我們都有祕密瞞着另一半，也許有些感情我們就是不想過多的告訴他們。但如果在這段感情中，你和那個人都有性衝動，你卻對另一半避而不談這件事，那這就是你陷入困境的跡象了，"羅森博格說道。這就帶來了下一個問題。

The tension is palpable

這種衝動是可以感知的

"In an emotional affair, sex is not on the table but is generally under the table," writes Rosenberg in his book. Translation: You aren't hooking up, but a desire to is felt on both sides. And it's more than just a fleeting attraction. "Sexual tension is par for the course in flirtation," says Rosenberg. "But this type [of tension] is more intense."

"這是精神出軌，暫時不考慮有關性的問題，但一般來說，大家都會思考這個問題，"羅森博格在他的書中寫道。換言之：你們沒有勾搭彼此，但雙方都能感受對方的意願。而且並不是露水情緣哦。"性衝動與調情的過程是類似的，"羅森博格說道。"但這種衝動更爲熱烈。"

You may find yourself fantasizing about your emotional fling while you're having sex with your primary partner, or thinking to yourself, "If only we could have sex without being unfaithful...." The main point is that you feel enough intimacy or sexual chemistry to get it on with this other person-and you wish you could.

當你與另一半發生性關係的時候，你可能在幻想與之精神出軌的他/她，或者這樣想到，"如果我們又能發生關係，又不用出軌就好了……"關鍵是你感覺你和另一個人足夠親密，或者你們很來電--你希望真的是這樣就好了。