你和另一半是超級親密還是相互依賴大綱
Signs you're in a codependent relationship
這些跡象表明你們相互依賴着Sharing a tight bond with your partner is a wonderful thing, especially if you spend time doing activities you both get a kick out of and are on the same page in terms of values and goals.
和另一半親密無間是件好事，尤其是花時間做些讓你倆都興奮不已的事情、而且你們的價值觀和目標也都一致。But there is such a thing as being too closely connected to the point that it hurts you and your relationship in the long run. It's called codependency, which means you're too encapsulated in your significant other—dependent on them for approval and a self-esteem boost and always allowing their emotions and actions to take the lead and influence your own.
但從長遠角度來看，太過親密就會傷害你以及你們的關係。這被稱作相互依賴，也就是說你太過依賴另一半了——依賴他們的批准、依賴他們增強你的自尊、總是讓他們的情感和行爲影響你。
Codependency can be defined as "an unhealthy, dysfunctional, or dangerous reliance on another person," says Andrea Miller, author of Radical Acceptance: The Secret to Happy, Lasting Love. "I think of it as a relationship that’s characterized by scarcity and fear over love." While it's normal to want your partner's support and feel certain that what you two have is unique and special, people who are codependent need validation all the time.
我們可以將相互依賴定義爲“對另一個人的不健康的、功能失調的或者危險的依賴，”《徹底接受：幸福長久戀情的祕訣》一書的作者德里亞•米勒說道。“我認爲這是一種關係，其特點就是稀缺以及對愛的恐懼。”雖然想得到另一半的支持、確信你們倆獨一無二而又特殊是很正常的事情，但相互依賴的人無時無刻都要得到認同。
A codependent relationship can be one where both partners have this dysfunctional reliance on the other, or it can be totally one-sided, with only one person looking to the other, who may actually like having so much control. If you think you might be the codependent one, this expert-backed checklist will help you figure it out. (And if any apply to your partner, they might be codependent on you.)
在相互依賴的關係中，戀愛雙方可能都對另一方存在着這種功能失調的依賴；也有可能只是一方完全依賴另一方，而另一方可能真的很喜歡這種控制感。如果你覺得你是依賴對方的那種人，這一專家認可的清單將幫你理清頭緒，到底屬不屬於這類人。（如果對你的另一半適用，那他們可能很依賴你哦。）You’re afraid to make decisions on your own
你害怕獨自做決定If you feel a need to have your partner weigh in on every aspect of your life, from when you should hang out with your friends to whether you should go for a promotion at your workplace, it could mean you're codependent.
如果你需要另一半參與你生活的各方各面，既要管什麼時候可以與朋友見面、又要管是否參加公司的升職活動，那就意味着你很依賴他/她了。"You shouldn’t not listen to how your partner feels, but if at the end of the day you can't consider anything without their agreement, then you may be too dependent," Gail Saltz, MD, a New York City–based psychiatrist, tells Health. While committed relationships require compromise from time to time, finding yourself anxious about making a decision without you partner's input could mean you're insecure about your own judgment. Instead of trusting what you think is right, you go with what your partner says or wants.
“你不該不聽另一半的感受，但如果在一天結束時，沒有他們的同意你考慮不了任何事情，那你就太依賴他/她了，”紐約市的精神科醫生蓋爾•薩爾茨醫學博士對《健康》雜誌說道。雖然固定關係需要不時妥協，但沒有另一半的輸入你就無法做決定卻意味着你可能對自己的判斷並不確信。你沒有相信自己以爲正確的想法，而是聽從了另一半的說法。
