狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第43章Part7

'Are you sure of that? Can it never be? If I speak now of what is in my thoughts, in spite of what we have agreed,' said Florence, 'you will not blame me, will you?'
'It is useless,' she replied, 'useless. I have told you, dear, that I have had bad dreams. Nothing can change them, or prevent them coming back.'
'I do not understand,' said Florence, gazing on her agitated face which seemed to darken as she looked.
'I have dreamed,' said Edith in a low voice, 'of a pride that is all powerless for good, all powerful for evil; of a pride that has been galled and goaded, through many shameful years, and has never recoiled except upon itself; a pride that has debased its owner with the consciousness of deep humiliation, and never helped its owner boldly to resent it or avoid it, or to say, "This shall not be!" a pride that, rightly guided, might have led perhaps to better things, but which, misdirected and perverted, like all else belonging to the same possessor, has been self-contempt, mere hardihood and ruin.'
She neither looked nor spoke to Florence now, but went on as if she were alone.
'I have dreamed,' she said, 'of such indifference and callousness, arising from this self-contempt; this wretched, inefficient, miserable pride; that it has gone on with listless steps even to the altar, yielding to the old, familiar, beckoning finger, - oh mother, oh mother! - while it spurned it; and willing to be hateful to itself for once and for all, rather than to be stung daily in some new form. Mean, poor thing!'
And now with gathering and darkening emotion, she looked as she had looked when Florence entered.

“你真相信那樣嗎？難道這是永遠做不到的嗎？如果現在我不顧我們達成的協議，把我頭腦裏所想的說出來，你不會責怪我嗎？”弗洛倫斯問道。
“這沒有用，”她回答道，”沒有用。我已經告訴你，親愛的，我做了一些惡夢。沒有什麼能改變它們或防止它們重現。”
“我不明白，”弗洛倫斯注視着她的激動的臉，說道；當她望着它的時候，它似乎陰沉下來了。
“我夢見了一種高傲，”伊迪絲低聲說道，”它對於善是毫無能力的，但對於惡卻無所不能；我夢見了一種高傲，它在許多可恥的年月中被鼓勵着和慫恿着；它從不退縮，除非是退縮到它本身；我夢見了一種高傲，它以一種深深的羞辱感貶損了它的主人，卻從來不幫助它的主人大膽地去憎恨這種羞辱或者避開它，或者說，‘不要這樣子！’我夢見了一種高傲，如果正確地引導它，它也許會導致較好的結果，可是如果引導錯了或誤用了，就像這同一位主人所擁有的其他品質的情形一樣，那就只能是導致自我輕蔑、狂妄直至毀滅。”
現在她既不看着弗洛倫斯，也不對着她講話，而是繼續這樣講下去，彷彿房間裏就只有她一個人一樣。
“我夢見了從這種自我輕蔑所產生的和從這種不幸的、無能爲力的、可憐的高傲所產生的這樣一種漠不關心和冷酷無情，它使得它的主人邁着無精打采的步子，甚至走向聖壇，服從那古老的、熟悉的、指揮的手指--唉，媽媽呀，唉，媽媽呀！--雖然它實際上是唾棄這手指的；而且願意一勞永逸地憎恨它自己，而不願意每天忍受新形式的痛苦。卑賤的、可憐的人兒啊！”
這時，她就像弗洛倫斯剛進來的時候那樣，懷着激動的、陰沉的情緒看着。