狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第34章Part7

'So Alice Marwood was transported, mother,' she pursued, 'and was sent to learn her duty, where there was twenty times less duty, and more wickedness, and wrong, and infamy, than here. And Alice Marwood is come back a woman. Such a woman as she ought to be, after all this. In good time, there will be more solemnity, and more fine talk, and more strong arm, most likely, and there will be an end of her; but the gentlemen needn't be afraid of being thrown out of work. There's crowds of little wretches, boy and girl, growing up in any of the streets they live in, that'll keep them to it till they've made their fortunes.'
The old woman leaned her elbows on the table, and resting her face upon her two hands, made a show of being in great distress - or really was, perhaps.
'There! I have done, mother,' said the daughter, with a motion of her head, as if in dismissal of the subject. 'I have said enough. Don't let you and I talk of being dutiful, whatever we do. Your childhood was like mine, I suppose. So much the worse for both of us. I don't want to blame you, or to defend myself; why should I? That's all over long ago. But I am a woman - not a girl, now - and you and I needn't make a show of our history, like the gentlemen in the Court. We know all about it, well enough.'
Lost and degraded as she was, there was a beauty in her, both of face and form, which, even in its worst expression, could not but be recognised as such by anyone regarding her with the least attention. As she subsided into silence, and her face which had been harshly agitated, quieted down; while her dark eyes, fixed upon the fire, exchanged the reckless light that had animated them, for one that was softened by something like sorrow; there shone through all her wayworn misery and fatigue, a ray of the departed radiance of the fallen angel.'
Her mother, after watching her for some time without speaking, ventured to steal her withered hand a little nearer to her across the table; and finding that she permitted this, to touch her face, and smooth her hair. With the feeling, as it seemed, that the old woman was at least sincere in this show of interest, Alice made no movement to check her; so, advancing by degrees, she bound up her daughter's hair afresh, took off her wet shoes, if they deserved the name, spread something dry upon her shoulders, and hovered humbly about her, muttering to herself, as she recognised her old features and expression more and more.
'You are very poor, mother, I see,' said Alice, looking round, when she had sat thus for some time.
'Bitter poor, my deary,' replied the old woman.
She admired her daughter, and was afraid of her. Perhaps her admiration, such as it was, had originated long ago, when she first found anything that was beautiful appearing in the midst of the squalid fight of her existence. Perhaps her fear was referable, in some sort, to the retrospect she had so lately heard. Be this as it might, she stood, submissively and deferentially, before her child, and inclined her head, as if in a pitiful entreaty to be spared any further reproach.
'How have you lived?'
'By begging, my deary.
'And pilfering, mother?'
'Sometimes, Ally - in a very small way. I am old and timid. I have taken trifles from children now and then, my deary, but not often. I have tramped about the country, pet, and I know what I know. I have watched.'
'Watched?' returned the daughter, looking at her.

“艾麗斯?馬伍德就這樣被流放到海外，媽媽，”她繼續說道，”被打發去學習履行她的責任；實際上那裏卻比這裏使人二十倍地忘記自己的責任，那裏比這裏多二十倍的邪惡、墮落與醜行。艾麗斯?馬伍德回來的時候已成了一個女人，一個經過這一切之後所應當成爲的女人。到一定的時候，非常可能，她將會在更莊嚴的氣氛中聽到更漂亮的談話，看到更有力的臂膀向她伸過來，她的末日也就將來臨了；但是那些大人先生們不用害怕失業。就在他們所住的任何一條街道上，又有一大羣可憐的男女孩子成長起來，所以他們又將有工作好做，直到發財致富爲止。”
老太婆把胳膊肘支在桌子上，用兩隻手託着臉孔，裝出一副十分痛苦的樣子--或許真的很痛苦也說不定。
“好了，我講完了，媽媽，”女兒搖了搖頭，彷彿也結束了這個話題似地說道，”我已經說夠了。不論我們做什麼，你和我今後都別再談什麼盡責任的問題了。我想，你的童年也跟我的童年相似。那樣對我們兩人就更不好了。我不想責怪你，也不想爲我自己辯護。我爲什麼要這樣做呢？這是好久以前就已過去的事了。但是我現在是個女人，不是個女孩子了，你和我都用不着像法庭上的大人先生們那樣去把我們的歷史抖摟出來，我們對它一清二楚。”
她雖然已經墮落了，道德敗壞了，但在她的臉孔與身姿中仍然有一種美麗；甚至在它表露得最不好的時候，對她最漠不關心的人也不能不覺察到。當她沉默下來、她先前十分激動的臉孔平靜下來的時候，她凝視着爐火的烏黑的眼睛原先射出了不顧一切的眼光，現在已換成了某種類似憂慮而和緩下來的眼光；這時候一位墮落了的天使的曾經消失的光輝，通過她長途跋涉之後的痛苦與疲乏，照耀出來。
母親默默無言地向她注視了一些時候之後，大膽地把滿是皺紋的手向桌子對面她的身上悄悄伸過去；當她看到女兒允許她這樣做的時候，就摸摸她的臉孔，把她的頭髮撫平。艾麗斯似乎感覺到老太婆這關懷的表示至少是真心誠意的，所以一動不動，沒有去阻止她；老太婆得一步進一步，她把女兒的頭髮重新編紮起來，把它溼漉漉的鞋子（如果它們還可以稱爲鞋子的話）脫掉，在她肩上披上點什麼乾的東西，並低聲下氣地在她身邊來回忙碌着；當她愈來愈多地認出她過去的一些特徵和表情的時候，就嘟嘟囔囔地自言自語着。
“我看你很窮，媽媽，”艾麗斯這樣坐了一些時候之後，向四下裏看看，說道。
“窮得可憐，我的寶貝，”老太婆回答道。
她喜愛她的女兒，又怕她的女兒。也許她在好久以前就開始喜愛她了，那時候她正在爲生活而進行屈辱的鬥爭的過程中，第一次注意到女兒的美貌。也許她的害怕跟她剛纔聽到的往事有些關係。不管怎樣，現在她正順順從從、恭恭敬敬地站在女兒面前，低着頭，彷彿在可憐地懇求她別再責備她。
“你是怎麼生活的？”
“向別人討錢，我的寶貝。”
“偷東西嗎，媽媽？”
“有時候也偷，艾麗--偷得不多。我老了，膽子又小。有時候，我的寶貝，我從孩子們身上搞到些小東西，不過不經常。我在附近一帶流浪漂泊，心肝，我知道了我所知道的事情。我一直在注意觀察着。”
“注意觀察着？”女兒看着她，問道。