狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第43章Part5

There was no change upon his face; and as she watched it, awfully, its motionless reponse recalled the faces that were gone. So they looked, so would he; so she, his weeping child, who should say when! so all the world of love and hatred and indifference around them! When that time should come, it would not be the heavier to him, for this that she was going to do; and it might fall something lighter upon her.
She stole close to the bed, and drawing in her breath, bent down, and softly kissed him on the face, and laid her own for one brief moment by its side, and put the arm, with which she dared not touch him, round about him on the pillow.
Awake, doomed man, while she is near! The time is flitting by; the hour is coming with an angry tread; its foot is in the house. Awake!
In her mind, she prayed to God to bless her father, and to soften him towards her, if it might be so; and if not, to forgive him if he was wrong, and pardon her the prayer which almost seemed impiety. And doing so, and looking back at him with blinded eyes, and stealing timidly away, passed out of his room, and crossed the other, and was gone.
He may sleep on now. He may sleep on while he may. But let him look for that slight figure when he wakes, and find it near him when the hour is come!
Sad and grieving was the heart of Florence, as she crept upstairs. The quiet house had grown more dismal since she came down. The sleep she had been looking on, in the dead of night, had the solemnity to her of death and life in one. The secrecy and silence of her own proceeding made the night secret, silent, and oppressive. She felt unwilling, almost unable, to go on to her own chamber; and turnIng into the drawing-rooms, where the clouded moon was shining through the blinds, looked out into the empty streets.
The wind was blowing drearily. The lamps looked pale, and shook as if they were cold. There was a distant glimmer of something that was not quite darkness, rather than of light, in the sky; and foreboding night was shivering and restless, as the dying are who make a troubled end. Florence remembered how, as a watcher, by a sick-bed, she had noted this bleak time, and felt its influence, as if in some hidden natural antipathy to it; and now it was very, very gloomy.
Her Mama had not come to her room that night, which was one cause of her having sat late out of her bed. In her general uneasiness, no less than in her ardent longing to have somebody to speak to, and to break the spell of gloom and silence, Florence directed her steps towards the chamber where she slept.
The door was not fastened within, and yielded smoothly to her hesitating hand. She was surprised to find a bright light burning; still more surprised, on looking in, to see that her Mama, but partially undressed, was sitting near the ashes of the fire, which had crumbled and dropped away. Her eyes were intently bent upon the air; and in their light, and in her face, and in her form, and in the grasp with which she held the elbows of her chair as if about to start up, Florence saw such fierce emotion that it terrified her.
'Mama!' she cried, 'what is the matter?'

他的臉上沒有變化；當她懷着敬畏的心情注視着它的時候，它那一動不動的、寧靜的神色使她回想起那些已經消逝了的臉孔。那些臉孔看去全都是這樣平靜的。他將會這樣平靜的；她--他的哭泣着的女兒--也將會這樣平靜的，誰知道是在什麼時候！周圍世界上一切愛，一切恨，一切冷淡，全都會這樣平靜的！如果她做了她正想要去做的事情，那麼，當那個時候來到的時候，他將不會感到沉重；對她來說，那個時候也將會是比較輕鬆的。
她悄悄地走近牀邊，吸進一口氣，同時彎下身子，輕輕地吻了吻他的臉，把她自己的臉在他的臉旁邊貼了短短的片刻時間，然後用胳膊環抱着他的枕頭，因爲她不敢用胳膊去碰到他。
醒來吧，命中註定難免一死的人，當她就在近旁的時候！時間在飛逝，鐘點正踏着怒氣衝衝的步伐臨近了；它的腳已跨進屋裏來了。醒來吧！
她在心中祈禱上帝保佑他的父親，如果可能的話，那麼請讓他對她的態度溫和一些，否則，如果他錯了的話，那麼就請寬恕他，並原諒她作了這幾乎好像是虔誠的禱告。她作了這樣的禱告之後，淚眼模糊地回頭看了看他，膽怯地、悄悄地向門口走去，走出了他的臥室，穿過另一間房間，離開了。
他現在可以繼續睡下去。當他可以睡的時候，他可以繼續睡下去。可是當他醒來的時候，讓他找一下這個身材苗條的人兒吧！當鐘點來到的時候，讓他看到她在近旁吧！
當弗洛倫斯偷偷地上樓去的時候，她的心是悲哀和痛苦的。從她到樓下去的時候起，這座寂靜的房屋變得更爲淒涼了。在這死一般萬籟無聲的深夜裏，在她眼裏，她所觀察着的睡眠同時具有死和生的莊嚴。由於她自己行動的神祕性和寂靜無聲，夜也變得神祕、寂靜、沉悶。她不願意，也感到幾乎不能夠回到她自己的臥室裏去，所以她就轉到客廳裏；被雲遮蔽了的月亮正透過百葉窗把亮光照射進來，她在那裏望着外面空蕩蕩的街道。
風淒涼地吹着。路燈看去是暗淡的，彷彿由於寒冷而顫抖着。在遙遠的天空中有什麼東西在閃閃爍爍，乍明乍滅，那不是完全黑暗，但也不是亮光；預感兇險的夜顫抖着，輾轉不安，就像垂死的人在作最後的掙扎一樣。弗洛倫斯記起，當她過去守護在病牀旁邊的時候，她曾怎樣注意到這個淒涼的時刻，並感覺到它的影響，彷彿暗暗地、自然而然地對它感到嫌惡似的。現在它是很令人沮喪的。
這天夜裏，她的媽媽沒有到她的房間裏來，這是她在外面坐得很晚的一個原因。由於心情不安，也由於強烈地渴望跟什麼人談談話，來擺脫鬱悶和寂靜氣氛的壓迫，她就朝着她媽媽睡覺的那個房間走去。
房門裏面沒有鎖上，她的手遲疑不決地碰了碰它，它就平靜地開了。她驚奇地看到裏面還有明亮的燈光；當她往裏面探望的時候，她更驚奇地看到她的媽媽只脫去了一部分衣服，正坐在即將熄滅的壁爐旁邊；爐子裏的煤火已化爲碎屑和灰燼了。她的眼睛全神貫注地看着空中；在她的眼光中，在她的臉上，在她的身姿中，在她緊緊抓住椅臂、彷彿就要跳起來的動作中，流露出十分強烈的情緒，弗洛倫斯看見了感到恐怖。
“媽媽！”她喊道，”怎麼了？”