狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第34章Part5

'What is it then?' returned the daughter. 'It had best be something that don't last, mother, or my way out is easier than my way in.
'Hear that!' exclaimed the mother. 'After all these years she threatens to desert me in the moment of her coming back again!'
'I tell you, mother, for the second time, there have been years for me as well as you,' said Alice. 'Come back harder? Of course I have come back harder. What else did you expect?'
'Harder to me! To her own dear mother!' cried the old woman
'I don't know who began to harden me, if my own dear mother didn't,' she returned, sitting with her folded arms, and knitted brows, and compressed lips as if she were bent on excluding, by force, every softer feeling from her breast. 'Listen, mother, to a word or two. If we understand each other now, we shall not fall out any more, perhaps. I went away a girl, and have come back a woman. I went away undutiful enough, and have come back no better, you may swear. But have you been very dutiful to me?'
'I!' cried the old woman. 'To my gal! A mother dutiful to her own child!'
'It sounds unnatural, don't it?' returned the daughter, looking coldly on her with her stern, regardless, hardy, beautiful face; 'but I have thought of it sometimes, in the course of my lone years, till I have got used to it. I have heard some talk about duty first and last; but it has always been of my duty to other people. I have wondered now and then - to pass away the time - whether no one ever owed any duty to me.
Her mother sat mowing, and mumbling, and shaking her head, but whether angrily or remorsefully, or in denial, or only in her physical infirmity, did not appear.
'There was a child called Alice Marwood,' said the daughter, with a laugh, and looking down at herself in terrible derision of herself, 'born, among poverty and neglect, and nursed in it. Nobody taught her, nobody stepped forward to help her, nobody cared for her.'
'Nobody!' echoed the mother, pointing to herself, and striking her breast.

“那麼問題在哪裏呢？”女兒回答道，”有些話你最好別嘮叨了。媽媽，要知道，我出去比進來容易。”
“聽聽她講的話吧！”母親高聲喊道，”經過這許多年頭之後，她剛回來就嚇唬着又要把我拋棄了！”
“媽媽，我再說一遍，這些年頭不僅是你度過的，也是我度過的。”艾麗斯說道，”回來更冷酷無情了？當然，我回來是更冷酷無情了。除此之外，你還指望什麼呢？”
“對我更冷酷無情了！對她自己的親媽媽！”老太婆喊道。
“我不知道是誰開始使我冷酷無情起來的，如果不是我自己的親媽媽的話，”她坐着回答道，一邊交叉着兩隻胳膊，皺着眉頭，緊閉着嘴脣，彷彿決心把任何溫柔的感情從心中驅除出去似的，”你聽我說幾句話，媽媽。如果我們現在相互瞭解的話，那麼也許我們以後就不會再吵架了。我離開家的時候是個女孩子，現在回來是個女人了。我離開家的時候，對你很不孝順，沒有盡到我做女兒的責任；現在回來了，你可以怒罵說，我沒有比過去好一點。可是你過去曾經對我充分盡到你做母親的責任了嗎？”
“我！”老太婆喊道，”對我的女兒！做媽媽的對自己親生女兒盡責任！”
“你聽起來覺得奇怪，是不是？”女兒回答道；她那嚴厲的、不顧一切的、冷酷無情的、美麗可愛的臉孔冷冰冰地看着她，”可是我在我那些孤獨的歲月中有時曾想到這一點，直到後來我對這已經習慣了爲止。總的說來，我曾經聽有些人談論責任；可是總是談到我對別人的責任。我時常納悶--我想這些事是爲了消磨時間--，是不是就沒有人對我盡到責任呢？”
母親坐在那裏皺着眉頭，閉着嘴用牙根咀嚼着，並搖着頭，但不知道這是表示憤怒、懊悔、否認，還是僅僅是身體虛弱的表現。
“從前有一個女孩子，名叫艾麗斯?馬伍德，”女兒大笑了一聲，並用可怕的自我嘲笑的眼色打量着自己，說道，”她在貧窮與沒有照管中出生和長大。沒有一個人教育她，沒有一個人前來幫助她，沒有一個人關懷她。”
“沒有一個人！”母親指着自己和敲着她的胸脯，同時重複着她的話，說道。