丈夫說我一手造成了他和同事的婚外情

Dear Coleen

親愛的科琳

My husband of 20 years has been having an affair with a woman from work. He blames me for this situation, saying I have been horrible to him for the past 18 months so he has sought solace elsewhere.

我結婚20年的丈夫和他的同事發生了婚外情。他竟然怪我，說我過去18個月來對他態度很差，所以他才從別處尋求慰藉。

He thinks this woman he has known for eight weeks will make him happy for the rest of his life and he wants to leave me and move in with her. I found her profile on Facebook and messaged her asking her to leave my husband alone. We met and she is the total cliché of a younger woman in an unhappy relationship, going after her married boss.

他認爲和他相識8周的這個女人能讓他餘生幸福快樂，他想離開我，搬過去和那個女人住在一起。我在臉書上找到了她，給她發信息讓她離開我的丈夫。我和她見面了，她是那種典型的自己戀情不幸、追求已婚老闆的年輕姑娘。

We chatted for three hours and I explained to her he wasn't the lovely bloke she thought he was and there was another side to him. I also told her we had been intimate when he told her our marriage was dead. I showed her a photo of us cuddling on the sofa.

我們聊了3個小時，我向她解釋他不是她所認爲的那種男人，他也有另一面。我還告訴她，當丈夫對她說我們的婚姻沒有希望的時候，我和丈夫還舉止親密呢。我給她看了一張我和丈夫在沙發上互相依偎的照片。

That evening my husband and I were making love, but got interrupted by this woman, texting him to say it was over and that she was leaving work too. My husband was furious and blamed me for ruining everything.

那天晚上和我丈夫行房事了，但卻被這個女人給打亂了，她給他發短信說他們之間結束了，她要辭職。我的丈夫十分氣惱，怪我毀掉了一切。

He has now moved into the spare room and swings between depression and anger. What can I do to repair this situation and remind him of our love for each other?

現在，他搬到了客房，又難過又憤怒。我可以做些什麼來修復我們的關係，讓他回憶起我們對彼此的愛呢？

He sent me a message today saying he just wants me to leave him alone as his blood pressure is sky high. I should add, he also had an affair with a younger co-worker 10 years ago, which lasted seven months before he came back to me again.

今天他給我發了條短信，說讓我放他一馬，因爲他的血壓飆升。再補充一句，十年前他也和一個年輕的同事出軌過，那段婚外情持續了7個月，然後他又回到了我的身邊。

Coleen says

科琳說

I know you've tried everything in your power to save your marriage, but if the will isn't there from your husband, it'll never work. It needs two of you to rebuild and it doesn't sound as if he wants to.

我知道你儘可能的做了一切來挽救你們的婚姻，但如果你的丈夫根本就沒有這個意願，那麼無論你怎麼努力都不會成功。這需要你們倆重新建立關係，但聽起來他似乎並沒有這種想法。

This latest affair might be over, but what about the next one? He did the same thing to you 10 years ago and he's done it again.

最近的這段婚外情可能已經結束了，但下一段呢？十年前他可是對你做過一樣的事啊，現在他又來了！