風趣幽默英語故事三則

幽默故事，能讓你在信手翻啓間開懷一笑，得到身心的徹底放鬆、心緒的怦然萌動、情感的欣然釋放。下面本站小編爲大家帶來三則風趣幽默的英語故事，歡迎大家閱讀!

風趣幽默英語故事：相親

A guy gets set up on a blind dateand he takes her out for dinner to a very expensive restaurantto make a good impression.

一個小夥子被安排去相親，爲了能給女孩留一個好印象，他帶着她去了家收費昂貴的餐廳。

The waiter approaches the table and asks to take their order.

服務生過來問他們要點些什麼菜。

The lady begins ordering practically everything on the menu,shrimp cocktail, pate, Caesar Salad, lobster, crepes Suzette,with no regard to the price.

女孩開始點菜了，她幾乎點了菜單上所有的東西，雞尾蝦、派、凱撒沙拉、龍蝦、柳橙可麗餅，完全不考慮價格。

The guy is getting very upset,as he never thought she would order so much.

小夥子變得很不安，他真沒想到女孩竟然會點這麼多菜。

She then stops, and looks across at him, and asks,"What do you suggest I wash it down with?"

這時她停下了，看着坐在對面的他，問，“你認爲咱們該喝什麼酒水配這些菜呢?”

"Well my dear, I can think of nothing so fitting as the Mississippi River"

“哦，親愛的，我覺得沒有什麼東西比密西西比河更合適了。”

風趣幽默英語故事：機長的錄音

This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew ...

這是你們機長的聲音。

I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London.

請允許我代表全體工作人員，歡迎你們乘坐英國航空公司602號航班從紐約飛往倫敦。

We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.

我們此時在大西洋上空35,000英尺的高度。

"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. "

如果你從飛機的右邊向窗外看去，你將會發現右側的兩個引擎都已經起火。

If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.

如果你從左邊往外看，你就會看到那邊的機翼已經脫落了。

"If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it to waving at you.”

如果你俯視下面的大西洋，那麼你會看到一艘黃色的救生筏，上面有三個人正在朝你揮手。

That's me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recording.

那是我、副駕駛員還有我們的一名女乘務員。這是一段錄音。

　風趣幽默英語故事：交通事故

A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ...

有個人開車行駛在上班的路上，一輛卡車闖紅燈從側面撞上了他的車，當時他就不省人事了。

hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold.

路旁的行人把他從車裏拉出來並喚醒他。

Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him.

剛一醒過來，他就拼命的掙扎着，最後不得不用了藥物才讓他鎮靜下來。

He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.

過了一會兒，他平靜了，別人問他爲什麼要這麼恐怖的掙扎，

Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so.

他說：“被撞之後我就什麼都不知道了，

He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing.

當我醒過來，我發現我躺在了路邊，前面是一個巨大的廣告牌上面閃爍着‘殼牌’，但是有個人擋住了那個s。”

I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'