經典科幻文學:《銀河系漫遊指南》第4章 Part 1

Chapter 4
Far away on the opposite spiral arm of the Galaxy, five hundred thousand light years from the star Sol, Zaphod Beeblebrox, President of the Imperial Galactic Government, sped across the seas of Damogran, his ion drive delta boat winking and flashing in the Damogran sun.
Damogran the hot; Damogran the remote; Damogran the almost totally unheard of.
Damogran, secret home of the Heart of Gold.
But it was not in any way a coincidence that today, the day of culmination of the project, the great day of unveiling, the day that the Heart of Gold was finally to be introduced to a marvelling Galaxy, was also a great day of culmination for Zaphod Beeblebrox. It was for the sake of this day that he had first decided to run for the Presidency, a decision which had sent waves of astonishment throughout the Imperial Galaxy — Zaphod Beeblebrox? President? Not the Zaphod Beeblebrox? Not the President? Many had seen it as a clinching proof that the whole of known creation had finally gone bananas.
Zaphod grinned and gave the boat an extra kick of speed.
Zaphod Beeblebrox, adventurer, ex-hippy, good timer, (crook? quite possibly), manic self-publicist, terribly bad at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch.
President?
No one had gone bananas, not in that way at least.
Only six people in the entire Galaxy understood the principle on which the Galaxy was governed, and they knew that once Zaphod Beeblebrox had announced his intention to run as President it was more or less a fait accompli: he was the ideal Presidency fodder footnote{ President: full title President of the Imperial Galactic Government.} .
What they completely failed to understand was why Zaphod was doing it.
He banked sharply, shooting a wild wall of water at the sun.
Today was the day; today was the day when they would realize what Zaphod had been up to. Today was what Zaphod Beeblebrox's Presidency was all about. Today was also his two hundredth birthday, but that was just another meaningless coincidence.

第四章
在遙遠的銀河系螺旋臂的另外一端，距離那顆叫做太陽的恆星50萬光年以外的地方，銀河帝國政府的總統贊福德·畢博布魯克斯正在飛速通過達蒙葛蘭的海洋，他的離子驅動德爾塔型快艇在達蒙葛蘭的陽光下閃閃發光。
達蒙葛蘭太熱了；達蒙葛蘭太遠了；達蒙葛蘭幾乎根本沒有聽說過。
達蒙葛蘭，黃金之心的祕密據點。
而今天正是計劃的巔峯、揭曉一切的偉大日子，即黃金之心最終向整個驚呆了的銀河系展示的日子，同時也是贊福德·畢博布魯克斯個人達到巔峯的偉大日子。因爲，當年正是在這一天，他第一次決定參加總統競選，這一決定在整個銀河帝國引起了軒然大波。贊福德·畢博布魯克斯？總統？不是贊福德·畢博布魯克斯？不是總統？許多人把這一決定視爲一條確鑿的證據——已知的整個宇宙最終都瘋掉了。
想到這裏，贊福德咧開嘴笑了，又把快艇的速度提高了一擋。
贊福德·畢博布魯克斯，投機分子、曾經的嬉皮士、一個守時的人、（騙子？很有可能）、瘋狂的個人宣傳家，人際關係極端惡劣，總想着外出午餐。
總統？
沒有人發瘋，至少是在這件事情上。
整個銀河系中只有6個人理解管理銀河系的原則，他們知道，一旦贊福德·畢博布魯克斯宣佈他將競選總統，這差不多也就是既成事實了：他絕對是一個理想的總統坯子。
他們所完全不能理解的是，贊福德爲什麼要這樣做。
他正駕駛着快艇猛地拍打海面，朝着達蒙葛蘭太陽的方向激起一片狂野的水幕。
今天是時候了；今天他們將知道贊福德的全盤計劃。今天是贊福德·畢博布魯克斯整個總統任職的目標所在。今天也是他200歲的生日，不過這只是一個毫無意義的巧合而已。