經典科幻文學:《銀河系漫遊指南》第1章Part 7

Mr Prosser thought it sounded perfectly potty.
"That sounds perfectly reasonable," he said in a reassuring tone of voice, wondering who he was trying to reassure.
"And if you want to pop off for a quick one yourself later on," said Ford, "we can always cover up for you in return."
"Thank you very much," said Mr Prosser who no longer knew how to play this at all, "thank you very much, yes, that's very kind ..." He frowned, then smiled, then tried to do both at once, failed, grasped hold of his fur hat and rolled it fitfully round the top of his head. He could only assume that he had just won.
"So," continued Ford Prefect, "if you would just like to come over here and lie down ..."
"What?" said Mr Prosser.
"Ah, I'm sorry," said Ford, "perhaps I hadn't made myself fully clear. Somebody's got to lie in front of the bulldozers haven't they? Or there won't be anything to stop them driving into Mr Dent's house will there?"
"What?" said Mr Prosser again.
"It's very simple," said Ford, "my client, Mr Dent, says that he will stop lying here in the mud on the sole condition that you come and take over from him."
"What are you talking about?" said Arthur, but Ford nudged him with his shoe to be quiet.
"You want me," said Mr Prosser, spelling out this new thought to himself, "to come and lie there ..."
"Yes."
"In front of the bulldozer?"
"Yes."
"Instead of Mr Dent."
"Yes."
"In the mud."
"In, as you say it, the mud."
As soon as Mr Prosser realized that he was substantially the loser after all, it was as if a weight lifted itself off his shoulders: this was more like the world as he knew it. He sighed.
"In return for which you will take Mr Dent with you down to the pub?"
"That's it," said Ford. "That's it exactly."
Mr Prosser took a few nervous steps forward and stopped.
"Promise?"
"Promise," said Ford. He turned to Arthur.
"Come on," he said to him, "get up and let the man lie down."
Arthur stood up, feeling as if he was in a dream.

普洛塞先生認爲這聽起來相當瘋狂。
“聽上去很有道理……”他以一種平靜的語調說，卻連自己要安撫的是誰都不知道。
“到時候如果你突然想離開的話，”福特說，“我們隨時都會反過來再接替你的。”
“那真是太謝謝了。”普洛塞先生說，而他根本還不知道具體怎麼做，“太謝謝了，真的，你太好……”他皺了皺眉，又笑了，然後一度想同時做這兩種表情，結果當然是失敗。他用手緊抓住自己的毛皮帽子，在頭上轉着，想找個合適的位置戴。他只能假設自己已經勝利了。
“那麼，”福特·普里弗克特繼續說，“你願意到這邊來躺下……”
“什麼？”普洛塞先生問。
“噢，我很抱歉，”福特說，“也許我沒能把自己的意思表達清楚。總得有人躺在推土機前面，不是嗎？否則這裏就沒有什麼能阻止他們開進鄧特先生的房子了，不是嗎？”
“什麼？”普洛塞先生再一次問道。
“很簡單，”福特說，“我的委託人，鄧特先生，表示他將停止躺在這裏，只要你過來代替他。”
“你在說些什麼啊？”阿瑟問，但是福特踩了他一腳，示意他安靜。
“你希望我，”普洛塞說着，向自己表述了這個新想法，“過來躺下……”
“是的。”
“在這些推土機前面？”
“是的。”
“代替鄧特先生？”
“是的。”
“在泥漿裏。”
“是的，正如你所說，泥漿。”
普洛塞先生一旦意識到他最終還是輸家，就彷彿從肩上卸下了千鈞重擔：畢竟這才更符合他所認識的世界。他嘆了口氣。
“你要真能把鄧特先生帶到酒吧去，想要什麼回報呢？”
“什麼都不要，”福特說，“是的，什麼都不要。”
普洛塞先生緊張地朝前挪了兒步，又停下來。
“你保證？”他問。
“我保證。”福特說，然後轉向阿瑟。
“走，”他對阿瑟說，“起來吧，讓這個傢伙躺下來代替你。”
阿瑟站起身，感覺彷彿是在夢裏。